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1. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   06 Apr 2022 in reply to Fisher Guy

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   Hey Fisherguy... great to hear from you and here I am at 4 months. Now onwards to 6 like you said. The time has really gone by quickly, but I will never forget how hard it was getting to this point. In past quits I always ended up giving in and trying to persuade myself I could smoke very little... like one on a Friday after work. But that was just fooling myself. This quit business is all or nothing. You cant be 'half in' with any of it.
   
   This week kind of sucks cos I lost my bank card last Friday after a night out and cancelled it. Only to then find it again. So Ive no money accessible for a 'reward'. Hopefully the new card arrives soon. And then the stress and fear of having to find a new place to live... I felt I was drowning.. but I didn't feel the urge to smoke so I guess Im getting used to being a non smoker now.
   
   Spoke to my mate yesterday and told him I was at 4 months. He quit a year ago and told me to be careful about being to confident. That the urges still come for him when hes bored at work and hes had a few slips over it. I guess that's just going to be part of life now... the odd cravings or urges now and then.
   
   Onwards to month 6!
2. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   08 Apr 2022

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   Heading to the pub again after work with a mate for a few pints. woo-hoo. But I have my mist in case I get any urges. Its all about being equipped. Heading home to my parents then tomorrow to pick up my new bank card. Ill be there for a week so I'm gonna see if when this mist spray is gone, if I can start to manage without it. I think I can but I just wanna be in a safe environment where I'm not tempted to give it a go.
   
   Now i'm not really dealing with cravings and urges anymore but I do have to tell myself I'm a non smoker now throughout the day... just to keep myself in check and that I don't slip again. Into my 5th month now and it does feel a world away from what it was when I started out this journey back in December. No more feeling cranky and not knowing what to do with myself. I'm actually becoming a non smoker now.
3. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   17 Apr 2022

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   Hi all,
   Still down in Cork visiting my parents, back to Dublin tomorrow. I didn't have the spray mist for 2 days but yesterday I started getting a few cravings out of nowhere so I went and got another one. Not using it anywhere as much as I had been but its good to have it for emergencies. I saw on my dashboard that my savings are now one pack away from €2000 which is mind blowing. I was very pleased when the cravings hit yesterday that it was the mist I wanted and not a cigarette. The weeks are flying by so I have month 5 and 6 on the horizon now. Drinking less too. Before as a smoker I could down 2 bottles of wine no problem... now I'm only able to manage 1. So the next thing to go now will be the drinking... not completely cos I do enjoy meeting up with friends for a few drinks at the weekend. But things are going good with this no smoking business. 
4. wandam

   

   241 posts
   Registered:
   05 Feb 2019
   17 Apr 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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   Hi dublinguy, 
   
   Congratulations on celebrating 4 months of being smoke free. Soon you will be celebrating 5 months, way to go, keep rocking your quit!
5. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   19 Apr 2022

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   Day 134
   I know I know... I'm still counting the days in my head somewhat when I said I would only start counting the months but I'm so glad to be here on day 134... €2010 not spent on smoking. I can't believe that.
   Back in Dublin now again and back in work this morning catching up on emails I missed over the last week. It was so nice to get home again for the few days. There's another bank holiday coming up for May in 2 weeks so I'll probably take the Friday off again and head down again cos it's my Mums birthday.. mine will be on the 15th and that will be the first birthday in years that I don't smoke.
   
   My nephew was down to visit on Sunday and he went out twice to smoke. The stench when he came back in. It was horrible. And it lingered in the air. Same when I went to the shop... I could smell the stale stench in the air. I'm embarrassed that that's how I stank for years and didn't realize. Never again. As I said, I stopped using the mist for about 2 days but while sitting watching tv, I could feel a few urges sneaking up on me. Not to smoke but I needed something.. so I went and bought another mist spray and that put those urges right back in their box. But it reminded me that I'm not yet clear of the addiction... it's still there and will probably always be there. I was thinking back on the slip I had at day 65 so now on day 134 I'm twice that far along now so I truly am on the road to freedom. I don't really think of smoking now anymore but if it does strike I think back on the very start where I was physically ill from it and going through hell. Back then I had no idea if I would be able to stick with it; if I was strong enough... but I did do it and I'm still going.
   
   I know I still have the mist and I think its better to always have one nearby just in case I need it. I'll wait till 6 months to see if I can go without it. This quit is far too valuable now to risk it.
   
   A friend is thinking of going to Manchester for a weekend in May and I think Ill go with him for the break. And Ill be booking those flights to Gran Canaria soon too. So there's stuff to look forward to now.
   
   My other nephew stayed at my parents for two days and we have this thing whereby we head to the shop for 'supplies' (mainly rubbish, crisps, sweets, coke and whatever). I joked with him... 'and a pack of smokes for me'... he laughed with me about it. The notion now of buying a pack of smokes seems ridiculous. Hopefully that continues. I know 4 months doesn't sound like that long into a quit but to me its a big deal. I remember being here before about 10 years ago... I think I made it to 6 months but exam stress sent me back down the slippery slope. This time I'm determinded to make it all the way. And seeing the money saved rise is really inspiring.
   

   Last modified on 19 Apr 2022 05:22 by dublinguy
6. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   21 Apr 2022

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   Yesterday when I got home I felt so tired so I went to bed for a quick nap. Didn't wake up till 7am. Didn't realize how tired I was. Is that another symptom of quitting? 4 months in with 5 months on the horizon and still I feeling changes happening to me. Its like running a marathon in the Olympics... seeing others ahead and longing to be where they are and then trying to cheer on the runners behind me and having to be careful not to fall. And also hearing all the cheers from the crowds to keep going.
   
   I've noticed recently as well that when I brush my teeth my gums start to bleed. Will have to get a softer tooth brush. Maybe that's cos now more blood is flowing through to the gums. A rinse of Listerine helps.
   This week the vivid dreams are back as well. Its like going to the cinema. The good news is I'm not tempted at all to smoke. I think that's behind me now and I have this forum to thank for it. In past attempts I didn't have a place like this to come to and vent or read.
   
   Heading to the pub after work with a mate again for a few pints. Wont be a mad night just a few.
7. freedomchild

   

   81 posts
   Registered:
   18 Jan 2022
   21 Apr 2022

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   I still have vivid dreams now and then as well. I'm determined to stick with this. I will never go back. I have more freedom and a lot more cash for the things i really need. Anyways your doing great. I send smiles your way.. good for you for sticking to it.
8. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   25 Apr 2022

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   Day 140
   Thanks freedomchild. You and fisherguy are that bit ahead of me in my quit and seeing you guys post keeps me motivated to get to where yee are. The competitor in me trying to catch yee in the race... even though its not a race and we are all on our own little journies. Today marks 20 weeks for me. I'm so glad that this quit seems to be sticking. I didn't do very much over the weekend aside from watching Netflix. Next weekend is another bank holiday here for us so I'll be heading home again on Friday. I'm still using the mist.. perhaps a little too much lately; I think its becoming a habit now and I'm going to have to watch for that one. I told myself I will wait till I hit 6 months before I quit on that. I get cravings now for the mist not a cigarette. So that will be interesting to see what happens when I stop it.
   
   I feel like I've lived on this forum for the past 140 days. If not posting I've been reading current and old threads trying to get advice and tips on how to keep quit and then trying to give back to others on their travels. It really does help having a place like this to come to when the going gets tough. Now I'm no longer struggling like I was and its literally like taking a breath of fresh air again. I'm still learning to become a non smoker. But with each passing day the association with smoking is getting weaker and weaker. If anyone had asked me this time last year if I would have seen myself now nearing 5 months quit, I would have laughed in their face. I was a full on dedicated smoker happy out wasting my money and putting my health at risk and living pay cheque to pay cheque.
   
   A funny thought dawned on me the other day when I was in the queue at the shop. A person ahead of me was handing over a fist full of change. The amount of times I did that... gather what change I had in the house to make up the price of a pack and go to the shop with it... how embarrassing now looking back. But I was a junkie addict. Not anymore. I'm free of it now. But I'm also aware from past relapses that I cant get too comfortable. When I think of smoking now I think of my lungs and the cilia re-growing; no way am I going back now. Forward is the only way.
   
   Was on the phone with my mum yesterday and I think it was the first phone call since I began this quit that she didn't ask 'hows the no smoking going?'. Its almost like its accepted now that I no longer smoke. That feels good but I still need the support cos I know that a stressful day or people annoying me could lead to a slip again and a possible relapse. That's why this forum is so great. No matter where you are in the process you can come here to get that needed support that might not be there in our daily lives outside of here.

   Last modified on 25 Apr 2022 10:50 by dublinguy
9. dublinguy

   

   379 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   26 Apr 2022

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   My landlords have gone on holiday for a week and the junkie in me is whispering in my ear 'go on, have a smoke, you know u want to and no one will know'... but the truth is.. ID KNOW. Im too far into it now to have a justified slip. And I know I would cough and feel sick and disgusted at myself for giving in.
   I think of all of you here cheering me on and how sick and disappointed I would feel telling yee that I slipped again. I know its just cos I'm at work and its the old habit and junkie brain looking for a fix but its not going to win.
   Nearly at 5 months and I'm going to make it.
10. freedomchild

    

    81 posts
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    18 Jan 2022
    26 Apr 2022

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    You can do it.. i know its tough sometimes, but you hang in there. Maybe some mint candies might help. or a nice long walk. and 5 months is awesome. remember NOPE. Not One Puff Ever. 
11. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    27 Apr 2022 in reply to freedomchild

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    Hi Freedomchild, thanks for the encouragement. I'm hanging on in there. Yesterday at home was a bit awkward. I was having a few glasses of wine watching Netflix and I knew there were cigarettes in the drawer downstairs belong to my landlord. I'm home alone this week so it would be so easy to sneak one and smoke it. But then I think back to my slip earlier in this journey and recall how awful I felt after it. Its just not worth the risk cos one would lead to a second and then Id be saying.. 'ah just buy a pack' and then that would be it. Hooked again.
    
    NO WAY. As Treepeo said, I've "come way too far now to blow it now" on some crummy smoke that I would get nothing from only misery and disappointment. We have to stay on our toes here. I kept using the spray mist instead and went to bed early.

    Last modified on 27 Apr 2022 04:53 by dublinguy
12. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    28 Apr 2022

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    So I had a few shaky days there for whatever reason. But what got me through was looking at the daily counter and the money saved. Read loads of old threads on here and reminded myself of what it was like at the beginning of this journey. Do I really wanna risk this quit and be back at day 1 trying yet again to be free? Hell no. I've come this far I might as well keep going.
    
    I look at this journey imagining a few cars in the shop going through repairs. The struggle to get them started but when they finally get going they are back in good working order again. The slips are like those cars struggling to get going and need something else done.
    
    Went for a few drinks last night with a new mate and it was nice not having to spark up. There were others smoking at the table next to us and I glanced over at them.. just to have a look, in no way jealous or wanting to smoke. Its almost May now and I'm almost at the 5 month checkpoint. While its been a long process, its also been very quick. I love seeing my friends on here that little bit ahead of me... it gives me the needed commitment to keep at it and hold strong.
    
    Ive had to have a few deep conversations with myself this last week to just hang on. I really don't want to smoke again and this quit means the world to me now. Do I really wanna have to go back and repeat all this again and then in another 5 months be wishing I had hung on. So I will hang on. I can do this.

    Last modified on 28 Apr 2022 10:48 by dublinguy
13. treepeo1

    

    255 posts
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    06 Feb 2020
    03 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Hi dublinguy,
    
    I can relate to your shaky days because I had them, too.  After 5 or 6 months, sometimes I said to myself, well you've proved you can quit, now reward yourself with a smoke.  Crazy, eh?  It's that darn addiction that keeps digging its nails into us and doesn't want to let go.  But of course, I realized it was the addict in me talking and I didn't give in.  Thank goodness.
    
    Right now, the smell of other people's smoke may not bother you, but eventually it will.  I never thought it would happen, but one day I passed a smoker on the street and the smell of the smoke itself really bothered me.  But it all takes time.  Like you said, you are still learning to be a non-smoker.  It doesn't happen overnight.
    
    You just stick to the plan, because you are doing great.  I am truly happy for you.
    
14. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    03 May 2022 in reply to treepeo1

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    Hi Treepeo, great to hear from you. I hope you are keeping well.
    The good news is I'm still hanging on.. while the urges and cravings are still happening now and again, they are not strong like they were before. I'd call them thoughts more than physical cravings now. I thought of you and that quote you gave me a while back .. 'in 6 months you can be full of excuses or full of progress'. I want to be full of progress. Just the thought of having to go back and reset all the counters is enough to motivate me to keep going.
    
    I booked my flights to Gran Canaria over the weekend, as my reward. It wasn't expensive but its nice to have that done and something to look forward to later in the year. Still marvel at the money rise on that counter. By the time that holiday comes around Ill be 9 months into this quit. Cant wait to celebrate that.
    
    There's just no way I'm going to be known as that guy who was on here everyday, was doing so well, and then fell at 5 months in and went back to smoking. I want to be a poster that is on here a year or more into it and encouraging others. I think between 3-5 months is tough because you really are done with the serious battles but not quite there yet in your mind. You just have to hang on and try remain as committed to the quit as you were at the very start.

    Last modified on 03 May 2022 09:35 by dublinguy
15. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    04 May 2022

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    Day 149
    So its like my body is trying to communicate with me how far I've come along this path. This morning in the shower I started to cough up tar and gunk. Yuck. But its a good sign that things are healing.
    I got a notification on facebook about another smoker who was at 160 days and was ready to throw in the towel and smoke. He didn't though because we all started encouraging him that he would hate himself for it. Its amazing how hearing from others can bring you back from the ledge. Hurry up Friday and get here.. I have my little flag ready to stick onto that checkpoint. :)
    I think my problem might be the mist... I'm still getting a small bit of nicotine and the junkie in me is demanding more. But the mist is a 1000 times better than the alternative. My landlords are back so that pack in the drawer is no longer a temptation. Being stubborn I will not ask for one.. no way. And buying a pack just isn't an option. Keep fighting. I'll get there.
    
    When I think of slipping, I just hear my Mums voice in my head or my deceased Aunt. Or I think of the long haulers in here and posters who are that bit ahead of me... yee were all at this stage at one point and survived without smoking so I can too. I think the mist is going to have to go soon. But not just yet. lol. this is such a roller coaster.

    Last modified on 04 May 2022 04:50 by dublinguy
16. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    06 May 2022

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    Hey everyone,
    Ive made it to 5 months. So pleased with myself. $2265 not spent on cigarettes, 151 days, 3020 smokes not smoked and 23 days of life claimed back.
    There was no magic formula, just a mind made up that I would not buy a pack again and smoke. Im here at the checkpoint seeing all the other flags left by the non smokers who have gone before me... see you all at 6 months :)
    No major plans for the weekend... just maybe meeting up with friends for drinks or something to eat.
    The further along you get the weaker the urges are getting. It really is true... life gets so much better and I feel great.

    Last modified on 06 May 2022 03:26 by dublinguy
17. jb63

    

    118 posts
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    28 Feb 2022
    06 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Congrats Dublinguy!!🥳 that is a great accomplishment!!
18. treepeo1

    

    255 posts
    Registered:
    06 Feb 2020
    06 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Wow dublinguy, congrats on your 5 smoke free months!  And your stats are amazing!  I just love these stop smoking apps because keeping track of your stats is so motivating.  And reading mine every once in a while makes me so happy.
    
    Right now for me, cigarettes not smoked are almost 49,000 and I regained over a year of life.  The amount of cigs not smoked always gets to me.  We just don't realize how much we smoked until we quit.  It's astounding.
    
    I am glad you have a trip planned.  Really something to look forward to.  And such a better use of your hard earned money!  Way to go, my friend!
19. freedomchild

    

    81 posts
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    18 Jan 2022
    06 May 2022

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    Congratulations on your 5 months smoke free. You should be proud. That trip sounds great. It does get easier as you move along. Good for you. Remember NOPE Not One Puff Ever,
20. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    09 May 2022

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    Thanks guys.. the support really helps. Just in work now again after the weekend. Met up with a friend for some dinner Saturday at a local restaurant we've been meaning to try out. Was lovely. Watched a few movies on Netflix and started to watch a new series called Liar.
    
    I cannot believe I'm into month 6 already. While it feels like a long time ago that I decided to quit it's also gone by really quickly. Heading home to cork again this coming weekend for a family dinner on Saturday. That will be nice.
    
    Had a bit of an argument with the friend Im meant to be going on holiday with in September. He was bombarding me with messages about it for the last few weeks and I was feeling a bit on edge when he declared that he was planning on meeting loads of people to have 'fun' with back in the apartment. I told him I was uncomfortable about that for security reasons (and covid) and decided maybe I wont go afterall.. that I would think about it. I could always book my own apartment for the week I suppose but I'll see.
    
    But smoking wise things are going great. No desire to smoke at all anymore and now when I see a bunch of smokers I almost hold my breath till I get past them. My office mate is away on annual leave this week so Ive the office to myself... plenty time to read up on here and continue to get good vibes and tips on how to keep this quit going. This was the quit to end all quits and Im so pleased with myself for sticking to it.
    I still get brief moments where I think of having a smoke but they are only brief and pass. I use the mist in those times and it goes away again. So I know I have to keep the guard up even this far in. What a nasty and cruel addiction it is.
    

    Last modified on 09 May 2022 04:49 by dublinguy
21. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    10 May 2022

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    Having another shaky day today. Stress in work.. people asking for one thing, you do it and then they come back wanting more or changes to be made... make up your mind people!
    Havent heard from that 'friend' about the holiday so I guess that wont be happening now. Not too disappointed though cos theres no point putting myself in a situation that I wont be comfortable in. His loss cos now he'll have to pay for his 'fun' with dining alone and so on. I can go somewhere else.
    Got a WhatsApp message from my landlord.. 'make sure u rinse out your yoghurt cartons in the morning before throwing them in the recycling'. F off!!! lol.
    
    But I will not smoke. No matter what happens now I keep making that pledge to myself everyday.
    Ive read back over this entire thread and wow... its long. Thanks for letting me rant and document the process.
    
    155 days now.
22. freedomchild

    

    81 posts
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    18 Jan 2022
    10 May 2022

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    You can do it. Stay strong. Stress of any kind can get to anybody, so good for you for sticking to it. Congrats on 155 days. Sure adds up quite quickly. Good for you. Remember NOPE, Not One Puff Ever..I say that everyday to myself. 
23. treepeo1

    

    255 posts
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    06 Feb 2020
    10 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Hi dublinguy,
    
    Given what your friend said, I think you are wise to pass on this particular vacation.   In the last two months, I have had 2 family members come down with covid, and both have been as careful as possible going about their lives.  So "having fun" with tons of people doesn't seem like such a good idea.  And you're right, there will be other opportunities where you will feel both happy and comfortable.
    
    Loved your comment about the yogurt containers.  Give me a break!  LOL
    
    As for stress, yeah, we just can't get away from it.  There's always going to be stuff we have to deal with that we don't want to.  But you are learning that you can cope without smoking.  In fact, you have more energy to deal with anything now that you are breathing easier.
    
    I started chemo again and as a result, there are certain things that I can no longer eat.  So today I dropped off some stuff for my sister so as not to waste it.  When she opened her door, the smoke just came wafting out, and it was all I could do not to gag.  How the heck I did that to myself all those years now seems a mystery to me.  Holy cow, I don't miss that at all.  And the smell clings to you.  I had to shower to get the smell off myself.  Gross.
    
    You have given yourself the greatest gift of all by quitting.  Cherish your hard won freedom.  You have done something truly amazing!
24. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
    Registered:
    09 Dec 2021
    11 May 2022 in reply to treepeo1

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    Hi Treepeo1
    Thanks for the words of wisdom. It always amazes me that even though you are going through a tough battle you still find time to come on here and encourage us all. Hats off to you. I hope the chemo goes well for you and know that I am thinking about you and wishing you all the best.
    
    Don't get me started on the yoghurt cartons. Rinsed it out this morning. This is why I said before that things weren't working out where I am currently living. So many nitty bitty stupid things that they winge and moan about. Its like they are on some sort of power trip. I spend most my time in my room. But finding somewhere to live in Dublin is near impossible.. Any room that comes up, 100's apply for it. And one bedroomed places are like gold dust and cost through the roof. There might be a room coming up in a friend of a friends house soon, but its a smoking house and I don't think I wanna go there. Not this far into the quit and to then have that stench off everything through no fault of my own.
    
    Yesterday I was challenged a few times with the smoking but its like I've programmed my mind to just not buy or go looking for one from someone. I've come too far now to give in and I wanna pass the 6 month checkpoint feeling strong and liberated.. not sluggish and battling urges. I still even this far in getting some urges or thoughts about how good it would be to have a smoke... but having got this far I just wont allow myself to go there. Instead I think of how good I feel now without the smokes. They are in the past now... and will have to stay there.
    
    As for the friend and his holiday of 'fun'... leave him off. But no, I wont be joining them. He was a bit hyper anyway and would probably have drove me mad for the week.
    
    And yes, I'm cherishing the freedom I've found from not smoking. No more coughing, no more burning lungs, not smelling like an ashtray.. the list goes on. that was nice of you to give the food you cant eat to your sister. And I can just imagine the stench that came wafting out of her apartment. That smell really does stick  and gets everywhere. It really is disgusting. We are the lucky ones to have broken free of it.
    
    And PS: Happy birthday for Friday. I saw you posted that in another thread during my never ending reading of posts and threads on here. Mine is on Sunday. First birthday in years as a non smoker. :) Yay us.
    

    Last modified on 11 May 2022 06:14 by dublinguy
25. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    12 May 2022

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    So I came back from the doctors today.. all good news. My cholesterol is a small bit high so I've to get another blood test done Monday to check that. That must be all the takeaway fast food I've been enjoying. And I don't have to go back again for another 4 months.
    Got another dual pack of the mist spray but I'm thinking now to ease up on using that and go without it as I approach the 6 month checkpoint. It really does help but its becoming a habit to have a squirt here and squirt there. Heading home in the morning for the weekend. Everything is getting better now. Smoking is not as much on my mind as it was. Once I get past 6 months that will be an all time record for me and quitting and I'm determinded to get this done once and for all.
26. treepeo1

    

    255 posts
    Registered:
    06 Feb 2020
    15 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Hi dublinguy,
    
    Thanks for the birthday wishes, and right back atcha!  Your first birthday in years as a non-smoker.  Isn't that something?  Stuff like that really freaks me out.  I remember the first time I went out for dinner as a non-smoker.  I was more relaxed than I had ever been, because I knew that I wouldn't be bothered by any cravings, and I wouldn't feel the need to leave the table and go outside to smoke.  I used to feel like such an idiot having to do that.  It was so embarrassing.  Not having to worry about that is a gift.
    
    I know you are worried about using the mist so much, but the fact that you are aware of your usage is encouraging.  It's infinitely better than smoking.  You are still learning how to be a non-smoker.  It takes time and practice.  Keep focused on staying smoke free.  You will know when it's time to cut back on the mist.  There's no rush.  All in good time.
27. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
    Registered:
    09 Dec 2021
    16 May 2022

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    So the dinner Saturday was lovely. Didn't get any urges at all and was able to enjoy the conversation without having to excuse myself. Saw an ashtray on the table outside for the few if any people who were smoking outside and remember that being me having to duck out several times during a meal to get my fix. Now I'm almost embarrassed recalling that. I should have given up ages ago. Next trip back home will be for a wedding in July. Ill probably go for a week then. Getting half the money back on that flight to Gran Canaria.
    
    Barely used the mist at all while I was down home. But used it in the car driving down and back up and now again in the office today. Ill get there with it.
    
    Everytime I drive home theres a bridge on the journey and each time I pass it coming back I say... 'well bye Cork. Next time I see you I will be X months quit'... and then on the journey there while crossing the bridge I say … 'well hello Cork, I made it to X months'... seems silly but its something nice I've developed. There's just no way will I let myself fall now. Keep going... keep on fighting. Next milestone is 6 months.. then twil be a year. I can't believe it.

    Last modified on 16 May 2022 10:48 by dublinguy
28. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
    Registered:
    09 Dec 2021
    18 May 2022 in reply to dublinguy

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    Well for whatever reason, I'm having a rotten time today. Day 163... there must be something about the 60's that are a trigger for me. I've been restless all day. I went for a quick pint at lunchtime in the pub across the road and there were people smoking at the door. It smelled so good and disgusting at the same time. I'm going to go into town after work and buy some new clothes for the wedding coming up in July... a reward. That might cheer me up. I've no intention of smoking but just wanted to note that today was harder than usual. Almost 6 months and I cant believe I'm still having moments like this. I'm using the spray and that has helped. It's this damn addiction digging its claws into me again. Go away!!!! You won't win! GRRRRRRRRR.
    
    Just typing out the frustration is helping. I remember my last big quit 10 years ago it was round about now I fell. 'I'll just have a few' I told myself... hating that I was opening another packet and about to throw in the towel. Did I feel better after smoking.. no.. So now I'm equipped with the tools to beat back those urges that pop up out of nowhere.
29. Fisher Guy

    

    66 posts
    Registered:
    01 Dec 2021
    18 May 2022

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    Hi Dublinguy. I know how you are feeling . Everything was great , but the last week has been a bitch. 5 days to 6 months has been the worst for me in 2 months. I know I can't smoke but boy do I ever want one. The mind can do amazing things to you  Just keep saying no and all will be well. Keep the faith we can do this.
30. dublinguy

    

    379 posts
    Registered:
    09 Dec 2021
    19 May 2022

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    Hi Fisherguy. Thanks for the response. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I went into town after work yesterday and bought a few things and that made me feel a bit better... and today is payday so that's always good for the mood.
    I know I wont smoke but yesterday was awful. It must be the final kick of the can by the addict to try get us to give in. No way... we know better now. Today seems a bit better but walking into work this morning I could smell smoke in the air and I was trying to figure out where it was coming from. I'm like a sniffer dog for smoking now... can always get it. You only have a few days to go now to get to 6 months and I'm right behind you. We've done great to get this far.. now to hang on and get to that checkpoint. We'll be ok then.
    
    Trying to make plans for the weekend to get out of the house. Definitely don't want to be cooked up inside with this addiction acting up. I'm reading loads of old posts on here and trying to keep busy at work. And using the mist spray for the tough times. Its like we're at burn out point but I'm reading that this is normal and it does get better. I know if I smoke now this far in Id be disgusted with myself and even just one could easily lead me right back to a pack a day again and Id be so disappointed. All this hard work down the drain. NO No No.. NOPE!!!!!!
    
    (later) Just got some good news. Theres a room available in a house belonging to a friend of a friend through work so Im going to have a look tomorrow. I need to get out of where Ive been living for the last year cos they are driving me nuts.
    
    Its in the house of a friend of the girl that gave me the cigarette on day 65. Stood outside talking to her about it and didn't feel the urge to ask for one. So whatever is going on with me at the moment, I know I'm strong enough to get past this. Hang on in there Fisherguy.. we can do this. NOPE

    Last modified on 19 May 2022 09:24 by dublinguy