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Dublin Guys Journey

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  1. dublinguy
    dublinguy avatar
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    23 May
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    Well I survived the weekend, quit still in tact. The bad urges from last week seem to have calmed down again and I have the mist close by at all times. Spoke with Mum on the phone and she was saying it would be ridiculous now to go back to smoking. Having come this far she's right.. there's no going back now.

    Went to view the room Friday. It's small but I'm moving in next Saturday. Its a lot cheaper than what I'm paying now so I'm thinking of the money I'll save. Was all nervous having to tell the guys I'm going but they were fine about it and understood. Now the stress of having to pack everything and move yet again. The joys. But I will not smoke. The owner of the new house I'm going to smokes but he's in a separate apartment at the back of the house so hopefully it won't bother me too much. I was able to sit there the other day when we called up and I wasn't tempted at all... even though I was offered one. It will be fine. I'm that far into the quit now that I know I can't have 'one'.

    Seeing Fisherguy get to 6 months today has really helped me in the process. If he can do it.. so can I! My flag is next to go on that checkpoint. 2 weeks to go. I found out today as well doing a google search that a pack of 20 Marlboro Gold (the brand I used to smoke) have increased in price to €14.70. They were €14.20 last time I smoked. The cost just keeps going up. Thank God I gave em up.

    Last modified on 23 May 2022 10:08 by dublinguy
  2. dublinguy
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    24 May in reply to dublinguy
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    Day 169... I will not be sorry to get out of the 60's. Definitely feeling the pinch the last 10 days. In 13 days Ill be at the 6 month checkpoint so Im weighing up these past 169 days against the cravings. Do I really wanna go back to Day 1 and have to start this whole journey again... hell no. I cant even describe how Im feeling.. I don't want to smoke but memories of it have come to the surface and I find myself reaching for the mist a little bit more often. If I can just hold on till this weekend when I move and have a change of scenery Ill be ok.

    I will do this. A smoke is not a reward... it would be a disaster. Cant wait to move. It will be a whole new me... I'm going to replace the fat frogs after work with cooking a meal instead. I don't cook in the house I'm in now cos they are too fussy about cleaning and its just awkward with them there and me trying to cook for myself. I've just been eating at work but I'm getting sick of canteen food now. Its the same food on rotation week to week.

    Feel like I'm going through a 'moaning' spell at the minute... uncomfortable. But I will not smoke. I promise you all and myself.
  3. treepeo1
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    25 May in reply to dublinguy
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    Hi dublinguy,

    I am glad you found a new place to live.  I know moving is a pain and very stressful.  But once you're in you can relax a bit and organize as you please.

    I must say I am surprised by how many smokers you are in contact with.  I live in Toronto, and I'm in a relatively small apartment complex.  My sister is the only person who smokes on this floor.  And the vast majority of people here do not smoke.  It has really become taboo.  But now that I think about it, I do remember seeing more smokers in Dublin and being a bit taken aback.

    Anyway, there are going to be smokers for the foreseeable future, so you just have to keep marching to your own drum.  Look at the money you are saving.  The price of groceries is staggering.  Imagine adding smokes to the mix.  Yikes.  And for what?  It's just stupid.  You broke free.  Remember all the crap you went through.  And remember how you puked when you tried to light one up.  You don't need that hassle.  You are doing great.

    Stay strong.  You can do this.  And you're worth the effort.  Six months is just around the corner . . .
  4. dublinguy
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    25 May in reply to treepeo1
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    Yeah smoking is still pretty common here. Lots of people smoke at work and you see them gathered at the front gate where I work every time I go out there or in the car park. Then there's the girl who gave me the smoke on day 65, my friend from South Africa (the one who got Covid) and now the landlord in this new place. Its not that many people I'm in direct contact with and it doesn't really bother me. Oh and my nephew back in Cork. My other nephew joked that he's going to buy him a box of patches for his birthday. I've come too far along in the process to give in and have one now. I just think of you all here cheering me along.. the support makes the world of difference. Today is 170. And yes I remember that puking nonsense I went though and the heartburn and burning lungs. That's all gone now and a distant bad memory. No more poison going into my lungs.

    Smoking is getting too expensive now and more and more people are trying to give them up but you'll always have people who will continue. We are the lucky ones to have broken away. I've saved €2550 already simply by not buying a pack a day and that's based on the old cost and assuming I was only buying 1 pack a day. Sometimes I used buy a second pack to get me through If I was drinking. That's madness.

    Last modified on 25 May 2022 04:09 by dublinguy
  5. dublinguy
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    26 May
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    Well today its like I'm holding on for dear life to a waggon that's speeding out of control. It's almost like the cravings from day 65 when I had the slip are back in full force. This must be because I'm at the stage where my last all time record quit ran it's course and the deamon won the fight. Not this time. This time I'm going to be the winner. I just can't fathom giving in and having to restart over again.. It would be November that I would be where I am today in it.

    I had to get some blood tests done today again cos the last two I did this year came back with high white cell counts. Its for peace of mind more than anything. I reckon my immune system has gone into overdrive from the lack of toxins and chemicals the blood had in it from all the smoking and its furiously trying to clean up all the damage I did. That's my theory anyway as I don't fell sick or anything. Did another COVID test too and that came back negative.

    2 more sleeps in that house and I'll be moving out and into the new place. The new landlord has seems really nice sending me texts about how welcome I am etc. New home, new life. Stay quit.
  6. dublinguy
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    27 May
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    Well, the waggon slowed down again and I didn't fall off. I just cant bear the idea of June 6th coming around and knowing I would be at 6 months. It would break my heart to fail now. So I'll keep holding on. Tomorrow is moving day.. so excited for the change of scenery.
  7. treepeo1
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    27 May in reply to dublinguy
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    Oh dublinguy, I am so glad you held on.  I know it can be tough at times.  But you have come too far to blow it now.  Like you said, we who fought like mad to quit are the lucky ones, we really are.  I feel so sad when I think of some of my sisters who still smoke.  They just don't know what they are missing by not kicking the habit.

    My stats tell me that I have regained over a year of life.  Trust me, every day is precious to me, so regaining a year is awesome.  And you can get to that point, too.

    Enjoy another smoke free weekend.  And then you will move and enjoy yet another wonderful change.  I hope all good things come your way.
  8. dublinguy
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    31 May
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    Well... I had another slip. I moved house Saturday and was all excited sharing wine with the landlord and having a nice chat. Hes confined to the bed and lives in a kitted out room out the back of the house and smokes like a chimney. I had a few sneaky smokes. Bad idea. The next day I woke up to horrible head aches, bad taste in my mouth and a hangover, and a rotten smell of smoke off my clothes. The good news is I didn't buy a pack and picked back up the quit where I left off.

    Not sure how I feel... disappointed, sad, disgusted... or do I feel relief that I'm not back smoking a full pack a day again. I was so close to the 6 month mark I'm kicking myself. Almost in tears here typing this. I don't really know what I was thinking but the wine and the good humour and conversation after a year of being confined to my room in the last place I lived, and I got carried away in the moment. I haven't reset the clock on this cos I know it was just a silly slip. Smoking again was like what it was when I first started smoking... harsh against the throat and not really enjoying it.

    I'm just going to have to dig a bit deeper now going forward and say no when offered a smoke. Hes a lovely man and just a bit lonely and was so glad I was talking to him and having a few glasses of wine. But I guess if I explain that I intend staying off the smokes he will understand. Felt bad bumming smokes off him so I don't wanna be that 'friend' who never has their own and always bumming. GRRRRR. I was afraid to post on here because of the shame and for being so stupid... but I haven't told anyone.. and I wont tell anyone outside of here either cos I don't need to be told it was the wrong thing to do. I know but I cant beat myself up about it either.

    Because of the slip, I had cravings yesterday and now again today but I'm using the mist and I will not smoke again. It was just another slip... and another lesson learned. Furious about it  and sad but happy that I'm not back on them again. Its so easy to slip and then throw in the towel but I haven't done that.

    I read Ocean and Mendersons threads back again cos they had something similar happen to them and I just didn't wanna feel like the only one this stuff happens to. I'm not restarting the clock... but I will use this slip as ammunition for the next time I get any crazy ideas. Can I just say 'Shit!' and move on from it and hold onto the quit. Wipe away the tears, pick myself up and carry on as before.

    In good news, I am much happier in the new place. I have a nice little walk in the morning and evening to and from work and its much cheaper. I just have to watch it with the slips and not let that develop into a habit. You know saying 'I'll only smoke when Im drinking... or having a coffee'. Thumbs down to that. I just have to focus on the amount of time and effort I put into quitting this time and I just cant throw that away. Think of you all on here in any moments of weakness and yell for help if I get tempted again.
    Last modified on 31 May 2022 07:06 by dublinguy
  9. jb63
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    31 May
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    Keep on quitting Dublinguy. You  are almost at 6 months !
    NOPE
  10. dublinguy
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    01 Jun in reply to jb63
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    Thanks Jb63... 4 more days and Ill be at 6 months. I'm feeling a bit better today.Bought another dual pack of the mist spray even though I know I need to start easing up on that now. The landlord offered me a smoke yesterday again when I was chatting to him but I resisted. That's how relapses happen.. a slip here and there and making excuses to allow the one here and there. I read back over this thread again.. all 7 pages of it and am so greatful for the support I've gotten. I can't allow that all to be in vain. What's different this time is I didn't buy a pack of Marlboro Gold and I'm not going to either. Stay on the waggon. This addiction is infuriating. I wish they made the mist in other flavours... I'm sick of the mint taste - but maybe that's a sign I'm nearly ready to quit the mist.

    Just goes to show that even 6 months into a quit that temptation can grip us and everything goes out the window. I know its not the end of the world... I haven't killed anyone or committed a crime... just a slip. Ill get over it. I've taken this Friday off and I'm going to go to cork again to visit my parents for the long weekend. Take myself out of the living situation for a weekend to build some quit muscles again..

    (later at home).. was offered one again but I resisted. But even sitting there talking for 10 minutes or so... I can smell the smoke off my t-shirt. Its like the smell of stale butts in an ash tray. So at least my sense of smell is still ok. I just have to keep saying no... no one will force me to smoke. But this is hard.. suddenly to be living in a house where its ok to smoke.. this is unusual. NOPE and Ill be back on track.
    Last modified on 01 Jun 2022 12:13 by dublinguy
  11. dublinguy
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    07 Jun
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    Well I made it to 6 months... even though my little flag has a hole in it from the slip up last week. Was down home again with my parents for a few days and it was lovely. I found I didn't have to use the mist all that much. But now I'm back in Dublin and back to normality I have it again for those moments when I feel like having a smoke. Heading down again in a few weeks for a wedding.. that will be at 7 months... always good to keep those checkpoints in view.

    I didn't get the 6 month anniversary email from Smokers Helpline. Have they stopped doing that?

    Some stats to mark the occasion:
    Savings$2,745.00
    Days Smoke-Free183
    Cigarettes Not Smoked3660

    I'm astounded by that. I feel I need to post here less often now as I'm well into the quit now at this stage and its time to hand the baton over to someone else who needs the support more than I do. Ill still be reading posts and checking in to keep myself grounded.
    Last modified on 07 Jun 2022 03:24 by dublinguy
  12. freedomchild
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    07 Jun
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    Congratulations on your 6 months smoke free. Good for you. Maybe treat yourself to something nice might help. Glad you kept your quit, I agree those stats are something to look at. It doesn't take long for them to add up. NOPE. Not One Puff Ever.
  13. dublinguy
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    Well... I've been slipping and sliding for the last two weeks... haven't bought any cigarettes but was allowing myself to have one or two at home chatting to the landlord in the evenings. Today I decided that has to stop cos its a quick downward slope to becoming a smoker again and its not fair on myself or the effort I put in to get to 6 months.

    So today I bought the Step 2 patches again and slapped one on. Ill do that for a week and then move to Step 3 for another week and hopefully that will knock some sense into me. It was just too hard to resist the urges at home when they were put under my nose, but I really can't stand the smell of em anymore and I don't want to be a smoker again. I can do this... just need to be able to say no and I will now with the patch on again.
  14. Fisher Guy
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    10 Jun
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    Hi Dublinguy. If I could reach you I would give you a kick in the ass. You and I have made it to 6 months together , and you slipped big time. Now get on your horse and help me keep on going. With you and I keep on fighting to be smoke free. we can do it  I realize being with a smoker ,make us want one , saying we can handle it, but we can't. Remember nope is  way to go. Good luck pal I will keep in touch.
  15. dublinguy
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    11 Jun in reply to Fisher Guy
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    A good kick in the ass is what I need. Im back on track again with it though and now he is smoking Superking brand which I cant smoke so that will help. Ive the patch on... No way am i going back to smoking. Thanks for checking in... I was thinking people are fed up with me now.

    I said nothing to anyone outside of here about it cos they'd all kill me. My mum said when i was down home last time that if she heard i was smoking again shed kick my ass all the way to Midleton (the nearest town) and back. lol. 

    I thought I would be able to handle just having one or two in the evenings but that's just not how it works. I found I was beginning to want more and more and then getting cravings again when at work etc. So the patch is back on and the mist at my side. It hasn't gotten out of control so I know I can stop the habit in its tracks again and not suffer too much. Ill call this 2 week slipping spell a big blip. I didn't buy any myself so the money saved is still safe... I was beginning to feel bad when Id wake up and feel that dry mouth again  - I was getting used to saying first thing 'you didn't smoke yesterday well done.. another clean day'.

    Thanks Fisherguy… its like you've reached out a hand for me to grab onto and get back on track and save the quit. I read back some of my earlier entries on here and recall those nights of puking up and heartburn all night. No way do I wanna slip back into those days again. Its not worth it. Instead of smoking with him Ill just drink some coffee and only stay in there a few minutes. We're like quit buddies so I don't wanna let you down.
    Last modified on 13 Jun 2022 08:48 by dublinguy
  16. dublinguy
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    So I've had to start delaying going home now to avoid the temptation to smoke. A few pints after work which I know isn't healthy but Ill do this for a while. From smoking in the evenings those 2 weeks I now have a sore chest... even though it was only one or two... just shows u how nasty smoking is. Not sure if I need to reset the counter now on everything but I'll keep going anyway. I didn't buy any so the money saved is still on track but I know its the cigarette count and days without that is more important. It felt awful waking up again and having that ashtray dry mouth feeling. And I was beginning to feel negative about life again which was not pleasant.

    But Im back on track again after the blip and intend to keep going. Glad of the forums yet again. If this had happened in the past no doubt Id have been back to being a smoker again disappointed and so disgusted with everything.

  17. jb63
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    15 Jun in reply to dublinguy
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    Keep on Quitting Dublinguy.  You’ve come so far. 👍🏻👍🏻
  18. dublinguy
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    Thanks jb63. I'm sticking with it. Just had to regroup and dig a little deeper and fight back again. I was slipping there for a while and I hated it. Using the patch again to make sure I stay the course (step 2)… will get the step 3 Friday for the next week. I think I was pulled back from the ledge just in time.. Imagine.. all those months wasted just for a crumby smoke in the evening that I wasn't even enjoying anyway. NOPE is back as my mantra. Not One Puff Ever again!

    Yesterday when I was in the pub I could get the stale stench of smoking again. It really is vile and no amount of perfume or aftershave can mask it.
    Last modified on 16 Jun 2022 07:18 by dublinguy
  19. treepeo1
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    16 Jun in reply to dublinguy
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    Hi dublinguy,

    I've just had a chance to catch up on your posts.

    Making a quit stick is tough.  I always caution people not to get complacent, because just when you think everything is okay, you get that urge and bam, it's a struggle.  I still get the occasional urge, even after 5 years.  Like a few days ago, I was a bit down in the dumps having to deal with the side effects of the chemo and I thought, wouldn't it be nice if I could have a smoke without it having any harmful effects on me?  But of course, that's not the way it works and I immediately squashed that idea.  But it did pop up in my head.  Sometimes we reach for something that provided us with comfort in the past, even though it was a kind of false comfort, because it was just the addiction making us feel good.  And smoking is one very powerful addiction.

    It is going to be difficult for you to live and interact with a smoker on a regular basis.  However, focus on the negatives you have noticed.  The dry mouth, the effect of his smoke on your eyes and chest, the stench left on your clothes, hair and body from his cigarettes.  It really is disgusting.

    And listen to Fisher Guy.  He's counting on you to stay the course.  Don't let him down.  I remember when I was first quitting.  My special quit buddy was wimporswim, and any time I was tempted, I thought of him, and how I didn't want to let him down.  His quit was just as important to me, if not more important, than my own, and that really helped to keep me going.  Fisher Guy needs to know he's not in this alone at this stage of his quit.  He needs you to stay smoke free.

    Keep on going, dublinguy.  You can do this.  Believe in yourself.  I am rooting for you! 
  20. dublinguy
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    16 Jun in reply to treepeo1
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    Sorry to hear u were feeling down after the chemo effects. Know that Im wishing the best for u and u are right... a cigarette would do nothing for u. Its all a big scam.
    Fisherguy brought me back from the ledge on this quit. I was just about ready to throw in the towel and admit defeat and then vanish off here and say nothing about it... but i felt it was better to be honest and own up to the mistake. u are right about the buddy system thing... i care very much about his quit and im sure its the same for him with mine. the accountability of it... no way am i gonna leave him high and hanging just cos i couldnt make it... i will make it... and i just cant face the idea of having to start all over in another few months/years and do all this again. 

    i havent been sitting with the landlord all week... i just go in to open or close the windows. i need to be strong and resist the temptations. ill buy the step 3 patches tomorrow just to give me the extra mental strength i need. 

    I actually do think of my friends on here now when i feel weak. when u dont feel alone in this it really helps. 
  21. dublinguy
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    Well the vivid dreams at night are back, probably because of the patch. Last night I dreamt that a few people around me had these new devices for NRT and I was trying them all. I woke up looking for them but then realised it was all a dream. So strange.
    Went to the pub after work yesterday again and was great watching the horses racing on tv. They Royal Ascot is on here at the moment and people get really into it placing bets and the like. I'm turning into my uncle who used always watch the races on a Saturday on tv. It's just to avoid being at home chatting to the landlord and being tempted to smoke. I think I'm ok now again with that but its best to just not be in that situation. The weekend now will be a test but I'll keep all of you in mind and use that to get through.

    I think I'm going to buy a new bottle of aftershave tomorrow as a reward. Something nice.
    My lungs are clearing out again cos I have blood in my mucus from my nose again in the mornings first thing. Might mention that to my doctor next time I see them just to make sure its normal. Its horrible. Have to try make a dentist appointment too when I'm down home next.

    Back to the pub again after work for more horses... Can't believe its Friday already. The weeks are flying by.
  22. dublinguy
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    Survived the weekend... stayed away from 'chatting with the landlord' so that I would not be tempted and its working. I think I'm strong enough now just to say no but I just needed that bit of distance for a week or so.
    Nothing major happened over the weekend... just stayed home watching shows on Netflix. Step 3 patch on now this morning... I found I didn't use the mist once all weekend. I need it in work though for when I get stressed.

    Onwards to another smoke free week.
  23. optimist
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    20 Jun in reply to dublinguy
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    How are you finding the difference between step 2 and step 3 of the patch?
  24. dublinguy
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    No major difference noted really. This and last week I decided to use the patch again just to get me over a mental hiccup I was having. I have found from the patch though, that I don't seem to need to use the mist at all; which was becoming a bit of a habit. Coming up on 7 months into this quit now so its time to start letting go of the NRT.
    Last modified on 21 Jun 2022 08:02 by dublinguy
  25. optimist
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    21 Jun in reply to dublinguy
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    Good to know the transition between steps 2 and 3 wasn't that big of a deal.  I'm on step 2 now and don't know yet when I'll try step 3.  Congratulations on 7 months - that's fantastic!
  26. dublinguy
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    Rough day yesterday and last night. Withdrawal symptoms are back. Anything I ate I threw up (even a glass of coke made me sick), bad headaches and couldn't sleep at all kept waking up with chills and then sweating. Runny nose too....I thought it was Covid but I did a test and that came back negative. My own fault for slipping and I deserve this now but its horrible. Still avoiding the landlord a bit.. I go in to open the windows in the mornings to let some air in and the room is full with blue smoke and the stench; its awful. Maybe moving to this place wasn't such a great idea when trying to keep a quit but I have to remain vigilant and not give in again.. and I wont. I've come too far in this now to go back to the habit.
    The counter says 200 days since I began this journey, $3000 saved and 4000 cigarettes not smoked. and 30 days of life claimed back. I'm still wearing the Step 3 patch but they finish this weekend so I'll be free of nicotine then... I think I'm in for a rocky week next week. The joys. I'm going to give up the mist now too... lately that's making me feel sick too... using the patch kind of stopped my need for the spray. Onwards and upwards.. I can do this.

    I wonder how Fisherguy is getting on... he never posted about his 7 month checkpoint.
    Last modified on 24 Jun 2022 06:28 by dublinguy
  27. optimist
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    dublinguy you have 200 whole days of success at non-smoking on which to build.  That's awesome.  Remember how you thought and felt on all those days you succeeded, draw on that bank of positive experience and results.  You can do it and we're cheering for you.
  28. dublinguy
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    24 Jun in reply to optimist
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    Thanks Optimist... yep.. focus on the positives and all the good that came from no smoking and NO MORE SLIPS! I forgot how horrible the withdrawal was... can only imagine what Id be feeling now if I was back to a pack a day habit and trying to quit again. Just not going there. Thanks for cheering me on. Slips are part of the process I guess but we cant let them develop into relapses. Its not worth it. Im feeling a bit better now.. had a small salad for lunch and drinking water.
  29. optimist
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    24 Jun in reply to dublinguy
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    Great news!  I had a small slip recently as well, and what I discovered is that for me it's more uncomfortable to slip back into the old smoking way of life than it is to push through the occasional discomforts of becoming a non-smoker and keep moving forward.  I just can't go back.  I just can't.
  30. dublinguy
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    Completely off the NRT now so lets see how this week goes.
    Staying away from the landlord now and his smelly cigarettes. He was getting a bit forward and cheeky with 'requests' for stuff from the shop and I ended up texting him back saying I was sick in bed with covid… That stopped the messages coming. Not sure if living there is going to work out... but Ill stay put for the time being cos it is cheap and if I can just keep my distance Ill be ok.
    Still have a bit of a bug that I thought was withdrawal... but its a touch of a flu that's doing the rounds. 7 months on the horizon now... :)
234 posts, 0 answered