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Weekend away with a smoker-help! Cancel

1. sammy

   

   7 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2019
   08 Feb 2020

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   Hi-I’m going away with my husband who smokes heavily and has no desire to quit and in the past has facilitated me smoking even though I quit, which of course, led me back to smoking full-time.  I’ve been smoke free for 45 days now and thoughts  pop back strongly into my head telling me I can just smoke for that weekend.  I know I can’t and I don’t want to.  I want to have an enjoyable weekend and not be fighting with my thoughts all weekend.  I just don’t know how to do it.  Does anyone have strategies that will help?
2. renee, quitcoach

   

   117 posts
   Registered:
   16 Jul 2018
   08 Feb 2020 in reply to sammy

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   Hello Sammy and a warm welcome!
   
   Congratulations on quitting for 45 days now. That is wonderful. 
   
   It can be a challenge when you have quit and your spouse has not quit. You mentioned you are going away for the weekend with your spouse and you are worried you will start to smoke again. May I ask you, how do you manage to not smoke at home when he does? Would you be able to employ the same techniques? Are you using anything to help you remain quit like the nicotine gum? 
   
   Renee 
3. sammy

   

   7 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2019
   08 Feb 2020 in reply to renee, quitcoach

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   Hi-I find it easier at home because I’m busy at work during the day, then I walk the dog when I come home.  My husband smokes either in the garage or at the patio door so I’m not around it although I can smell it when he smokes at the patio door.  When we go to the cottage we will be in a close space and although I will ask him not to smoke in the cottage I know he will.  He can’t go 15 mins without a cigarette.  Unfortunately I will be breathing in second hand smoke all weekend.  I think it is bothering him that I want to change my lifestyle.  He may think he will be left behind which might happen a little bit by me adopting a more healthy lifestyle and he doesn’t.  Once spring comes I want to learn how to jog.  Even though I’m 54 and have smoked for 40 years I have always exercised and in the last few years have really wanted to start jogging.  I don’t know why but it is actually a “need” I feel.  I can’t do that If I start smoking again.  I am using Nicolette gum and I did get a THC/CBD spray (not vape) for when I’m extremely stressed.  It just helps relax me so I don’t pick up a smoke.  
4. khick77

   

   31 posts
   Registered:
   21 Dec 2019
   08 Feb 2020 in reply to sammy

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   Before my friend stopped smoking I felt like I should be smoking too but I had my patch on my inhalers in my hands looking at my asthma inhalers thinking that I am not using these like I was when I was smoking one day it was so bad that I told him that I wanted one he got so mad I got mad and said that he would not be able to do it if he started his patches way before me I threw the smoke and stormed to bed I think that really made him to realize that he had to quit smoking to and he did.
5. sammy

   

   7 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2019
   08 Feb 2020

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   Good for you for standing up for yourself and I’m glad your friend quit smoking.  My husband is an addict in more ways than one so I know that he would have to be on oxygen to quit smoking but for some reason he has no ill effects from smoking for over 40 years.  His blood pressure, heart rate and lung power are all good.  I’m the opposite of that so for my health I have to quit.  I will tell him it bothers me and ask him to smoke outside.  The only other thing I can do is go outside myself every time he has a smoke which means I will be outside most of the time. 
   
6. khick77

   

   31 posts
   Registered:
   21 Dec 2019
   09 Feb 2020

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   I know that my friend was 2 pack a day smoker and for him to quit smoking I had enough of smoking back in January so I told him that we be able to get lots of food and pay off bills if we both quit smoking at first he said that he did know how we be able so I showed him how I figure out how much money we  an save it would cost us 400 dollars a week or more I said that that 400 could go on bills or food or in savings accounts for a rainy day and then he thought about it and then said you're right hat is how he was able to quit smoking and then he took a stroke but he is still smoke free for him it is one week and a day for being an non smoker I am 2 weeks and a day non smoker 
7. renee, quitcoach

   

   117 posts
   Registered:
   16 Jul 2018
   09 Feb 2020 in reply to sammy

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   Hi Sammy,
   
   Yes thanks for clarifying everything and I now understand why it may be more of a challenge to be at the cottage with your husband who still smokes as opposed to being at home. Maybe leave the room when he is smoking so that you are not breathing in the second hand smoke directly? It is a challenge but it seems quitting smoking is so important to you that I am sure you will be able to handle it.
   
   I also really like your goal of taking up jogging. Yes jogging and smoking don't mix!
   
   Have fun at the cottage and please let us know how it went.
   
   Renee
8. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   12 Feb 2020

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   Sammy,
   
   Congrats on quitting smoking! 
   
   I remember when my wife quit a few years before me and she basically said she will not bug me about my smoking or quitting, but i need to smoke outside and away from the doors so the smoke doesn't come in the house. Hopefully you can come to some compromise with your husband...
   
   Now that I quit I can really smell smokers, and yes I can notice the smell waft in even with someone smoking just outside a door. Amazing how dulled out sense of smell is when when smoked.
   
   I took up jogging as well. Start slow by doing a light jog for a few minutes and then walk for a few minutes and alternate like this, as you build up stamina you will jog longer and walk less. You'll really notice an improvement in your mental attitude and it reduced the cravings for me as well. 
   
   The other thing I found since quitting is that I am more attuned to my health. I realized how much smoking was draining away my heath and stamina. I try to eat better, I exercise, and I went off to doctor to do the physicals, blood work, and colonoscopy, etc.  I feel a lot 'younger' now than the last 5-10 years of smoking. 
   
   
9. mojojo

   

   2 posts
   Registered:
   29 Feb 2020
   29 Feb 2020 in reply to sammy

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   You are very brave for doing this. How did it go?