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1. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   14 Nov 2019

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   Im 10 days not smoking. Today feels like first day again. Yesterday someone told me they had just returned from a trip and said " everyone smokes there - on the streets in restaurants young people - people of all ages. "  All I can think of is - well all these people seem to be fine! 
   Who ever "these people" are. I can feel myself going down a slippery slope. I can see my thinking changing. If they can smoke- (as I am listening I am thinking of all these Happy Healthy People walking around smoking ) then why cant I ?  All my reasons for quitting seem to go out the window.  I become  totally disconnected as to why I even started this journey of quitting smoking.  This is day 10. These last ten days have been hard- but  have not smoked. Wanted to post this in hopes that being transparent about giving up on this quit smoking journey will make me re think and not give up !
2. emily, quit coach

   

   255 posts
   Registered:
   28 Nov 2017
   14 Nov 2019

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   Hi Kit,
   
   Thank-you for being so honest and sharing your experience with us. 
   
   I am sure you are not alone in having thoughts like this. When the cravings get tough we can often forget why we started quitting in the first place. 
   
   However, you're 10 days smoke free!! You've now made it past the first week which is a big accomplishment. 
   
   If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to quit? Sometimes reminding ourselves of those reasons can make all the difference. 
   
   Emily
3. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   14 Nov 2019 in reply to kit

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   Hey kit!
   
   I'm sorry I didn't see your post until now ... I was checking the other forums looking for you.
   
   I totally understand what you're feeling!! I would look at someone smoking and get so angry! How come they "get" to smoke and I don't! The tantrum going on in my head was epic. I'm not going to lie, I still sometimes feel threads of envy, but all I need to do is remember how I felt when I would stand outside to smoke. I felt ashamed, dirty and to be honest, unworthy.
   
   I have learned (and practice everyday), to replace my jealousy with the image of who I am now... proud, clean and so freaking worthy!
   
   Just hang on, kit. You are doing sooo well and you are sooo worthy!!
   
   I have a suggestion that might help. For many years our brains became dependent on nicotine to produce dopamine. No wonder we turned to a cigarette to feel good, relax, calm down, etc.
   
   I did some research as to how I could produce dopamine naturally. Learning something new is one of biggest producer's of dopamine (exercise as well, but I wasn't there yet ... okay, I'm still not there 😊).
   
   So I learned to prepare different ethnic dishes, I searched any topic I found interesting and learned one thing about that topic each day.
   
   For me, this is a fantastic tool in my toolbox.
   
   I hope you have a peaceful night, kit. I'll check in on you later.
   
   

   Last modified on 14 Nov 2019 22:01 by justfortoday
4. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   14 Nov 2019

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   Hey kit,
   
   You know, it depends where you go.  I have heard some people say the same thing when travelling.  But when I travel, I find just the opposite.  Hardly anyone smokes.  Seriously.  I was the only oddball who did, and quite frankly I felt like a loser.  I had to find a place where I was allowed to smoke, which wasn't always easy.  I had to walk far away, and I was completely alone.  And what a pain, because one cigarette, as you know, is never enough.  I had to constantly be on the lookout for another place to go.  Geez, I don't miss those days, that's for sure.
   
   Kit, right now you are going through the withdrawal blues.  It's awful, and it's discouraging.  But please, please, please, hang in there.  Remember why you wanted to quit in the first place.  Think of all the bad things about smoking.  And look around at how the world has changed.  There are far more non-smokers than smokers now, and people are quitting in record numbers.  There are very good reasons for that.  Don't let this addiction lure you back.
   
   You have 10, very hard earned days under your belt.  Don't let your struggle be in vain.  Keep pushing through.  It WILL get better, kit.  But right now you're still in the thick of it.  Try to keep busy.  Indulge yourself.  Cry, punch a pillow, go for a walk, have some wonderful take out food.  Do anything you can think of to keep yourself on track.  
   
   I have been trying to come onto this site daily so I can support you, because I really believe this is your time to quit, and I will do anything I can to help you achieve your goal.  I am rooting for you, kit.  Don't give up.  We are all here for you.
5. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   15 Nov 2019 in reply to justfortoday

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   Hi Treepeo,
   Did not smoke. Chewed gum - watched crappy tv and indulged in my  cinnamon sticks - then went to sleep!  I had a long "think"about this friend and realized there have been other times she has been VERY negative with me. We work together and where we work is heading towards a strike.
   My place of work is TENSE right now- really tense. People loosing jobs - jobs becoming redundant  (which could potentially be me) and many people where I work are divided re this looming strike. She was saying "just smoke a couple times a week." SHE DOES NOT GET IT !!
   A couple times a week would be impossible ! One is to many and a thousand is never enough ! She looked at me like I was nuts!  Saying " this is not really a good time to quit especially because of whats happening at work."  There will never be a good or right time to quit. The time is now.
   Yes- I will be honest. I am terrified -my job is at risk -I have bills- a mortgage- kids away at school that need financial support etc. But I really dont think starting to smoke will help with any of these issues-and only make them worse! Got through it. Am aware the next couple of months will be really difficult re work but smoking will only make it FAR MORE CHALLENGING !!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Have a GREAT DAY- 
   Kit
   
   
6. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   15 Nov 2019 in reply to justfortoday

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   Hi justfortoday,
   I did not smoke. Realized this friend has always been a bit negative with me. I came home- crawled into bed- used my cinnamon sticks-watched crappy tv and fell asleep. Woke up this morning SO RELIVED I did not smoke !!!!  I dont think Im using this forum correctly-meaning not sure how to just POST only REPLY. I am not great with computers- will call the smokers help line to get some support around this. I was telling treepeo that my place of work is heading into a strike. People are loosing their jobs and many are becoming redundant (mine is at risk) With a mortgage- kids away at school who need financial support - bills to pay etc. I AM TERRIFIED ! As well my place of work is very very TENSE right now as well as work mates divided on up and coming strike. BUT smoking will not help this situation and only make it worse ! Thank you for your support !! Check in later. Have a good day! As will I-have a good SMOKE FREE DAY !!!
   Kit
   
7. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   15 Nov 2019 in reply to kit

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   Kit,
   
   Wait a minute, you mean with all the stress going on with your work, you are still keeping your quit? That is so awesome! 
   
   Think about how valuable your quit is becoming. I looked up my stats. Since quitting on January 01 this year I have saved $4477.00 That right there is a nice Caribbean vacation, tuition for one of my kids, or a pretty nice RRSP contribution. 
   
   Amazing how we learn how little smoking actually did to 'help' us. You're dealing with all the stress at work WITHOUT smoking, heck you're doing it WHILE you are quitting! 
   
   
   
8. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   15 Nov 2019 in reply to atp

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   Hi atp-
   Nope didnt smoke ! I figured everything going off the rails and feel kinda crappy about it all - why not just throw the smoking right in with the rest of it !  Makes sense in a weird way- my brain so occupied with work situation - as well husbands job at risk of being made redundant - not much else can can feel crappy- so just stir it all up in one big pot !  If I smoke now it will upset me and dont think I could think " wisely " about work situation - strike- etc. I have to look after myself to make the right choices that are coming at me/us. Things could all change on a dime! But I have 11 days under my belt- I would feel REALLY CRAPPY if I started to smoke ! WOW- thats amazing the amount of money you have saved- just from not buying cigarets - you must go on that vacation!!! Thats FANTASTIC !!!! Good on you !!!
9. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   15 Nov 2019

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   Hi kit,
   
   I am so glad you didn't listen to your "friend".  Is your friend a smoker?  The reason I ask is that when I quit, I found some people less than supportive.  That is because they smoked, and they didn't want me to be able to quit, so that they could tell themselves, see, I can't quit either.  It's sad really.  I hope you have other people in your life who actually do support you.  The more help you can get, the better.
   
   I am sorry you are going through such a tough time at work.  Life is stressful, there's no getting around it.  But you held on and kept your quit.  You should be really proud of yourself, kit!  You are doing an awesome job of kicking your addiction to the curb.  WAY TO GO!!!
   
   I hope you can relax a bit and enjoy your weekend.  Congratulations on your 11 smoke free days!  You are amazing!
   
10. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    Answered

    15 Nov 2019 in reply to treepeo

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    Thanks treepeo- Yah ! Life can be stressful- but it will always be. I need to " learn" how to deal with stress and not smoke...its hard but cravings seem easier to go through when there are not any options. Only one.  I will not smoke- it will make things worse. Its just not worth it. It doesnt relieve stress- smoking gives me stress . Guilt- shame- anxiety...
    Hope you have a relaxing weekend as well!!
    THANK YOU !
11. justfortoday

    

    168 posts
    Registered:
    12 Aug 2019
    15 Nov 2019 in reply to kit

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    Ho kit!
    
    I'm so proud of you!!! You are totally owning your quit!
    
    As atp said .... so much on your plate right now and you've kept your quit?!? That is HUGE!
    
    I have to agree one hundred percent with treepeo, this is your time. You have what it takes to do this. Your "team" here, atp and treepeo got me through some pretty rough days, and they never stopped believing I could do it. And we all believe in you.
    
    Sadly, a lot is going on right now for you and your family and I wish things could be a littler gentle for your family. And you're right, smoking is not going to help. You may not have a lot of control over some things, but you can control your decision to not smoke!
    
    Stay strong my friend... the easier times are just around the corner!
    
    
    
    
12. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    15 Jan 2020 in reply to justfortoday

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    Hi justfortoday
    Just rushing out tje door to work- day 71 !
    Hope all is good ! Loads of stuff going on re work/family- a lot crappy but managing  not to smoke (one fay at a time) Kit
13. 2020vision

    

    20 posts
    Registered:
    09 Jan 2020
    15 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

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    Congratulations kit on 71 days smoke-free!! Doing a virtual happy dance for you. 
    I came across this thread, as today is day 10 for me.  Reading these posts help a lot, and are keeping me motivated to keep going. 
14. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    16 Jan 2020 in reply to 2020vision

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    Hi 2020vision- AMAZING- 10 days!!! Awesome people on this forum that really support me ! People kept telling me- it will get better and easier and it did/is. The delay and distraction helps me a lot. I spend a lot of time in bed watching crappy TV but- I didnt smoke. Way to go !!!!