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1. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   12 Aug 2019

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   Hi,
   I have been a smoker for so many years, that it truly has become part of my identity. It's a relationship that has brought me comfort, been there when I've been heartbroken,
   celebrated my triumphs, soothed me when I’ve been angry, and calmed me when I’ve been afraid. I can't "hate" smoking as it's shared far too many things with me. But over the last several months, I've been moving in a different direction in my life, and smoking really has no place on this path I've taken.
   
   I can accept it's going to be difficult to divorce myself from this "relationship", and perhaps that is why I'm here. As the saying goes … what we can't do alone, we can do together.
   
   And I will need support, from those of you who have had success, and those of you who are on the same path as myself.
   
   Thanks for being here ...
   
   
   
   
   
2. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   12 Aug 2019 in reply to justfortoday

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   justfortoday,
   
   The reasons for quitting are so varied, and so few times do i hear because someone hates smoking, at least before they quit. 
   
   I quit 7 months ago now, and I still have moments where I think about smoking in a nostalgic way - I mean i smoked for over 30 years and It was actually an experience learning how to be a non-smoker. That being said, I do not 'miss' smoking anymore. The overall benefits of quitting smoking far outweigh what perceived benefits there were to smoking. 
   
   Quitting is not hard if you are really serious about it. 
3. madeleine, quit coach

   

   33 posts
   Registered:
   12 Sep 2018
   12 Aug 2019

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   Hi Justfortoday! 
   
   Welcome! So happy to have you join our online community! It sounds like you're in a place where you're feeling differently about smoking, and you've come to the right place to seek support in the quit process. 
   
   I love what you shared, "what we can't do alone, we can do together." You will definitely get lots of support and expertise here from amazing fellow members like Atp, as well as Smokers' Helpline quit coaches! 
   
   Please post any questions you have in any of the forums, and feel free to give us a call at 1-877-513-5333 for telephone support as well! 
   
   Have a nice day, 
   
   Madeleine 
   
   
4. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   12 Aug 2019

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   Hi justfortoday,
   
   Your relationship with smoking is a dysfunctional one.  You might think that cigarettes supported you through thick and thin.  But really, they just robbed you of your health and well-being.  They took your breath away, made you and your clothes smell bad, and often turned you into a social pariah.  Their chemicals gave you a false sense of well-being, as they stealthily attacked every healthy part of your body.  Seems to me that this is one relationship you would want to ditch.
   
   I quit cold turkey 2.7 years ago after having smoked for 43 years.  It just goes to show you that it is never too late to quit, and that you really can quit if you put your mind to it.  Take a look at the suggestions on this website as to how to go about quitting.  It may sound stupid, but I truly had no idea how to go about it, and this site made all the difference in the world. I learned strategies to use when dealing with cravings, how to handle difficult situations, and how to keep myself motivated.  And I practically lived on these community forums, because the people here are amazing.  We all share the same goals.  We want to become non-smokers, and we want to stay that way.  And we support one another through that process.
   
   Give quitting a shot, justfortoday.  You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.  Trust me, I am grateful every day that I was able to break free when I did, and you will feel the same way.  Find yourself a healthier relationship.  You are worth it.
5. rainbranch

   

   3 posts
   Registered:
   23 Jul 2019
   12 Aug 2019

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   Day 33! Exactly as you said, it is truly part of your identity.  I've been smoking since I was 12. Over 30 years my smokes and I have been inseparable. We have greeted every morning together, gone to work, shared every break, enjoyed every day off and relaxed every evening, always together. Every road trip, every camping trip, smokes have always been there, by my side. Although the comfort is...well...comforting I also know smokes have been holding me back. Financially draining me. Consuming all my time. I know my relationship with smokes rightfully offends others. I am ashamed to be seen in public with smokes. I know this but smokes have always been there for me. I've tried to leave this "relationship" before. I planned and prepared everything in advance. I told everyone my plans, told them not to help me get a hold of smokes. Asked them to just keep smokes away from me. I got rid of all reminders of smokes. Ashtrays...gone. Lighters...gone. Did it all.  After all that planning and preparing smokes and I were always back together within a few days, we have always been together...always. Then one evening 34 days ago, I realized smokes and I were done. Our relationship has run its course. Same as you, I don't "hate" smokes. It's just...well....over. I had no plans for this relationship to be over. I did not prepare...I just knew it was over. The next morning I went to the health unit, where I was given the tools available to help me get me thru this life changing experience. That was 33 days ago. I am going through this break up differently. This time it's on my terms.  I kept reminders of smokes around until I was ready to throw them out. When I was ready and not before. I never told myself I could not get ahold of smokes. I did not place that restriction on myself. In fact I kept smokes in my house up until last week. I knew at any time I could turn to smokes if needed. I told others around me if they chose to have a relationship with smokes they did not need to hide it from me or go to another room. I had to get used to seeing and smelling smokes around and not have the urge to go back to the familiarity and comfort. It's not exactly by the book...pretty well going against all hints and tricks but here I am Day 33. I honestly believe every other time I have tried to end this relationship I put way too much stress on myself with too much planning and too many restrictions. That stress and pressure of just ending it and cutting off all ties was way too much for me. I know I can have smokes any time I want. It will always be that way. Always within reach, always accessible. But also within reach and always accessible is my temporary rebound Nicorette mist. Guess what...when a smoke and the mist were side by side and I did not place that pressure on myself that I could not smoke... I reached for the mist. Every single time. Day 33. I wear a Step 2 patch while at work only (8 hours) and I am steadily decreasing my use of the mist. I am not putting myself under any pressure to cut down...it's just happening. No pressure=results for me. Strongly recommend the mist.
6. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   13 Aug 2019 in reply to rainbranch

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   Rainbranch - Congrats for your first month smokefree. 
   
   One common thread I see over and over again is the quits that stick are the ones that we are 'ready' or 'feels different this time'. I think a lot of that has to do with willpower and dedication. So many of us have tried to quit and relapsed until one day we just said we are done and we come up with the plan and method that pulls us through. 
   
   You did the 'hardcore' quit by keeping smokes and smokers around you - basically you faced down all your triggers by treating it like a choice between coffee or tea. I did the cold turkey route and tossed out all smoking related stuff. End of the day, no matter how we do it we quit. 
   
   justfortoday - also sounds like you are ready to quit and we are here to support you in your process. 
   
   
   
   
   
7. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   13 Aug 2019 in reply to rainbranch

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   Good Morning rainbranch … and Congratulations!
   
   Thank you so much for your words, and I love that we think alike. When I read posts telling me "smoking" is the evil enemy that steals our life, or this is going to be the fight of your life to quit, I get a little frustrated. Yes, I know smoking is robbing me of my health (and my wallet). I know I deserve, and am worth a smoke-free life. I get that my relationship with smoking is dysfunctional, but like any dysfunctional relationship (and yes, I've had a few of those), the choice to move away from it cannot be a fight as that just adds to the dysfunction. 
   
   I'm willing to step into the discomfort, change my world and let "smoking" go find someone else who needs it more than I do. This is where my mindset has to be.
   
   Make sense??
   
   Thanks again, rainbranch!
8. brieffree

   

   1478 posts
   Registered:
   28 Nov 2017
   14 Aug 2019

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   Hello everyone
   
    Justfortoday,
   
   You are not alone, Be nice with your self! Choose a healthy choice to regard yourself, you have yourself, you have your Health! Is so much worth it!
   
    smoking is  Not  the solution!
    Relax, distract yourself!
   Enjoy life to be free!
   All the best!
   
   One day at the time, never give up!