theavonlady
18 posts
Registered:
24 Nov 2019
08 Dec 2019
in reply to
theavonlady
Today at 8 PM will be day 14 :). 2nd weekend where I am home a full two days and doing things I would not have done before, as taking a cig break every 1/2 hr interferes with daily life. I feel like I have been released from a prison and I am on parole. I have two options----break my parole, smoke and go back to prison...or live a clean life without smokes, and live a much LONGER life. It's weird how I see things now and process what I see. What was once just a passing glance, is now something to look at longer because I never noticed it before. Like driving in my car, I glance around and see all these side streets I never notice before as I am not rushing to get home to smoke(I only smoked I cig in my car a day on weekdays going home from work) I notice the sky now, how beautiful it is. I notice the smells, good and bad..too many smokers at the grocery store yesterday. But at least I smelled nice! I went to LCBO and got a fruity booozy drink. NO Beer store. I bought a little 4 pack and I made up my mind before buying it, that I would only drink it in the kitchen, while I was cooking. Tasted so good! When I set the drink down, my hands were immediately busy with cooking. I thought it was going to be hard to drink booze, but I didnt have any major urge to smoke, just that subtle reminder way back in darkness of my mind, that I might need a smoke. It goes away really fast. I am having a 2 drink today, it is up on the counter. Just waiting for my cookies to bake! Both hands on the keyboard right now, but I see my third phantom hand out of the corner of my vision reaching for a smoke. But there are no cigs to reach for. btw...I was sitting in my recliner Fri nite and leaned over to grab the remote off the floor. On the bottom of the book shelf back in the corner was a drinking glass stuffed full of cig butts. I sat back up really quickly. Forgot that was there! I could see in my mind several butts were quite long and could still be smoked. I waited a few min for the feeling to pass, grabbed a bag and threw the glass in it and threw the bag out. It is really disgusting putting your cig butts in your drinking glasses, but I usually threw the glass out. I notice more money in my bank acct as there are no trips to the res or to the variety store for junk food. Not sure why I ate so much sugar when I smoked? My poop schedule is awful and not fun when you cannot poop! Not too impressed with that. I have a better appetite this week, but I am not stuffing my face constantly. Drinking lots of water. Sorry, long post today.... I am going to do my crest white strip one nite this week, as I can sit in a chair for an hour without a smoke now....amazing! Merry Christmas theavonlady