Getting my act together

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

23 Feb 2023

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Hi. Was in this years ago when I last gave up tobacco. Back again. Had fallen off the wagon and did not come clean with the family. I hid it. I was not honest. Got caught with cigarettes and everything blew up. Addiction sucks. I’m sick about it all. I want to quit and have felt that way for a while. Went to see my dr. And asked for help. She has put my on patch and gum and suggsted the steps here in this site. She also is able to support with one-on-one. She’s been really helpful. My adult son is being supportive- I told that im ashamed for not being honest and that I’m taking these steps. My wife is too angry at me currently to be supportive. I am fine to give her some time but I hope that part gets better. Maybe someone has had similar experiences? Addiction makes us do bad things like hide smoking. I guess I will try to feel good about my choice and new path on my own for now

sarah, quit coach

222 posts
Registered:
28 Nov 2017

24 Feb 2023

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Welcome back, ststephen.
Thank you for sharing about your relapse - its brave for you to post so openly & honestly. You are not alone in this, and you are in a supportive community.

You've been through alot, and its been difficult for you. It also sounds really important to you to get back on track with your quit. ststephen, You've done it before & can do it again.
You are taking steps to have everything you need for your quit plan: quit aids, support. Is there anything else you need in place?

If interested, read through some of the threads and keep posting as needed.
Take care and go at it one day at a time.
Warmly,
Sarah

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

24 Feb 2023 in reply to sarah, quit coach

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Hi Sara and thank you for the wonderful post. I’m using a patch and it’s day 2. Been feeling pretty sad which is not me. I’m a super upbeat, positive person and I don’t feel like myself. I had never used the patch on previous quits. So it feels like I’m doing something different this time which is good. I am hoping that my partner is able to get less (rightfully) angry in time. I’m thankful for my 20 year old son who has been very supportive. But he’s gone back to school. I’m ashamed for relapsing.

Fisher Guy

64 posts
Registered:
01 Dec 2021

25 Feb 2023

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. Ststephen. What a great and honest post you gave. It so much remined me how this works. I too must have quit many time and then would sneak around so I could have just one puff. I also finally got caught by my wife. She didn;t say anything, but just walked away shaking her head. Boy did I feel like a piece of dirt. I went to the doctors and went on the patch and gum also. Put them on in the morning and off at night. Was moody for a month, according to my wife. She will be ok once she sees you are trying again. The patch worked for me as this is my 15th month smoke free. It does get easier week by week. Remember the saying NOPE. Not one puff ever. Keep it in your head and all will be well. Good Luck and keep us all up to date.

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

25 Feb 2023 in reply to Fisher Guy

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Fisher Guy - Thank you so much for your post. You just brightened up my day a bit. I feel a bit less lonely. On Day 3. I like your mantra...gonna use it. Patch seems to be helping abit. Have not yet tried the gum for acute cravings but plan on doing so today.

freedomchild

80 posts
Registered:
18 Jan 2022

25 Feb 2023

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Congratulations on your quit..Glad you picked yourself up..I have tried more then a dozen times to quit..But each time you learn something from it..Keep on trucking,,You can do this..I use NOPE not one puff ever,,I say that a lot..I wish you the best in your quit..

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

25 Feb 2023 in reply to freedomchild

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Thanks so much freedomchild! Your encouragement is super helpful. Really. The patch seems to be helping with hard core cravings.

jb63

111 posts
Registered:
28 Feb 2022

26 Feb 2023

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Congrats on your quit. I guess it’s day three. Which is great just take it one day at a day. And don’t be hard on yourself you have made a great choice to quit and everyone will see that in time
Always remember NOPE and keep posting it really helps

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

26 Feb 2023 in reply to jb63

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jb63 - it really does help to post here. Thanks. Can't stop beating myself up about it. This helps me feel less lonely. Day 3. Purchased the spray today but have not needed it yet. I've been trying to slowly get back to my exercise - it fizzled at the start of the pandemic.

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

27 Feb 2023

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So...I think day 3 is known to be difficult. The spray - along with my patch - helped. The guilt from past smoking is getting to me though...what do we do about that?

dublinguy

349 posts
Registered:
09 Dec 2021

01 Mar 2023

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Hi stephen... well done on deciding to quit and give it a go. And no you are definitely not alone in this.
I quit last year and managed to get to 6 months but then foolishly, I thought Id be ok just having a smoke when drinking while out in a bar or whatever and believe me, it was a slippery slope and soon I was back smoking more than ever. The guilt was awful because I know I left so many people down. I wasnt able to come on here cos I felt like a liar and a cheat. My mother was disgusted with me... and the balance I saw grow in my account slowly started to be depleted again.

No more. You just have to make your mind up that enough is enough and that you are ready to face a battle. It is tough but you have to be stronger and know that the bad cravings do pass and you get stronger with each passing day and watching the counters increase slowly does help keep the focus.

Try not be too hard on yourself. Give yourself time and be patient. We are all going through the same thing or have been through it. Post on here as much as possible to keep the focus and to distract yourself and read read read. Theres great material on here. and great friends to be made.

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

01 Mar 2023 in reply to dublinguy

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Thanks dublinguy. that is very helpful. I feel so crappy that I relapsed and hid it from the family. I'm still moving forward though and this helps. A lot.

ststephen

24 posts
Registered:
23 Feb 2023

04 Mar 2023

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About to hit 10 days smoke free. Patch and spray are helping. No
slips. I’m still having a hard time emotionally. I have many great friends and I know they will be supportive but I find it hard to reach out for help. I’m a very independent, energetic, happy and positive person and I’m a helper for a living so this part is really hard. I’m a University Professor (and a pretty darn great one) and many students and executives come to me for hep and education. I teach communication skills for a prestigious biz school. This part has been really difficult as I am literally ON all day, days a week, with an absolute requirement to be up, cheerful and and positive for them. It’s taken everything I got to stay that way this past week. I have worked on mindfulness for 10 years and I feel my ability to be present and now that simply cannot get to
the same level of presence That I need to at work. I’m afraid that the emotional issues are gonna mess up my ability to stay where I keeping busy is a frequent suggestion for quitting. I go no shortage of busy - but my emotional stuff is distracting. Guilt, my wife’s on going inability to actively support me and forgive my most recent slip up and hiding it over the last year. and shame. I hate that I ever smoked that first cig in grade 6, behind friends house any tops from
somone else who has anything similar ?

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