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1. betterhealthforever

   

   1 posts
   Registered:
   12 Sep 2020
   12 Sep 2020

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   Hi everyone, 
   I am so tired of smoking. It is a horrible addiction...and even thinking about it makes me want to step outside and have a cigarette, which I will because tomorrow is my quit date. My Mom passed away with COPD, Choosing to smoke when there is a horrible pandemic going on that involves a respiratory problem, makes me extremely afraid and so I don't go anywhere or do anything. I hate how it controls me and I am bothered every time I give into it. It makes me more depressed and keeps me smoking because of the guilt I feel. I feel so much better when I don't smoke and I have tried several times in the past to stop. I have been successful for different time periods but always go back. It is my reward system and I have gotten so used to using it to deal with stress, I don't know how to deal with stress without it. I don't like the anger I feel when I quit (it is like all of my frustrations that I have suppressed comes up) and I go back to smoking to numb it. I know this is the real crutch because overwhelming emotions frighten me and I don't know what to do with them. I have to find different ways to reward myself and also find ways to deal with unwanted, suppressed emotions. When I can do this, I know that my chances of quitting for good will be better. If anyone has experienced the same thing, and has suggestions that have helped, please let me know. I wish the greatest success for everyone on here trying to quit and remaining smoke free. 
2. brieffree

   

   1478 posts
   Registered:
   28 Nov 2017
   12 Sep 2020

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   Hi betterhealthforever
   
   Congrats in your quit date! do not need to be afraid, instead start thinking in a positive ways to deal in those moments, like, water, deep briefing, hard candy, read a book etc.... whatever you chose Must be healthy and constructive to you! and your health! 
   Be active, avoid those stressful thoughts, positive thinking in those moments helps a lot!
   Avoid all that remind you smoking! If you are nervous you can replace it for a flower or a fruit! so in those moment your option will be healthy! and not destructive! you can start making a plan what to instead of thinking in smokes.!
   
   No Matter what you are more important than smokes! Your Body will feel the difference, and your lungs will start to clear up!
   
   Good luck and start leaving free! Believe in you!   You can do it!
3. stormytootsie2020

   

   4 posts
   Registered:
   24 Oct 2020
   24 Oct 2020

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   Hi there. I am new here as well. Today is my quit date and I have tried to quit many times in the past and reading your post it really hit home to me. Those feelings and difficutlies you encounter with anger coming out sometimes out of nowhere or your emotions just spring up coming to the surface right out of nowhere as well leaving you wondering where in the heck did that come from are the exact things i struggle with in each quit and is definitly a pit i fall into and i return back to smoking. Using smoking/vaping as a reward i found is something that like when i did something i dont normally do and is good i go smoke/vape as a pat on my own back. When you mentioned it helps to numb the emotions yes i have dealt with a hard time a majority of my life with my emotions and well being and smoking i learned helped with that as well. Myself i found that it didnt numb me at all all it did when was having issues with my emotions or going through a hard time it didnt numb me all it did was provide a distraction for me so i didnt think about it so it felt like it numbed my emotions. What i found helpful is i downloaded a meditation app on my phone and during the day and yes at first it was one day would do it then would be a few till i tried it again but i found it really helped and as well helped me with calming my emotions and focus on one thing at a time rather than the hurricane of emtions swirling around in me. I hope this helps you but when i read your post i realized i am not alone and people can relearn how to live smoke free. Its just we are starting from the beginning again and relearning a whole lot but thats okay. Just give yourself a pat on the back each day and that can become your new reward
4. brieffree

   

   1478 posts
   Registered:
   28 Nov 2017
   24 Oct 2020

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   Hi stormytootsie2020
   
   Congrats in your Quit day for good!
   
   As you said you quit before  and go back to smoke, maybe this time is your time to quit for good!
   Be nice with your self, use the 4 d, 
   -Drink a lot water
   -Distract yourself from that moment
   -Do something instead
   -Discus with somebody you know about how you feel
   
   I really hope it helps
   
   Everyday is a try, never give up!
   You are not alone, we are work it! Not your Bad habit!
   
   All the best 
   
   
5. wandam

   

   241 posts
   Registered:
   05 Feb 2019
   24 Oct 2020

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   Hi stormietootsie2020,
   
   Congrats on quitting smoking today! Smoking is a hard addiction to conquer but you are obviously forging ahead & not giving up by quitting again, hats off to you! I too have quit several times & relapsed, each time gaining new knowledge, lessons to help me with my next quit, cause I too was determined like you to quit again! Try to stay connected on here, talk to a quit couch, journal write, deep breathing, drink water & whatever else works for you. 
   
6. Val H

   

   167 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   24 Oct 2020

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   Hi betterhealthforever and stormytootsie. Congratulations on picking a quit date. 
   
   Remember that what you go through early in the quitting process is temporary. It might help to google ways to deal with anger and try some of the suggestions. Deal with it one situation and one day at a time. Take good care of yourself. You’re worth it. 
   
   quitfriend