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Support lacking

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. kellie62
    kellie62 avatar
    12 posts
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    18 Aug 2020
    22 Feb 2023
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    Hi,
    i wonder if anyone else has had to deal with this issue.
    I have family member who is not very supportive, as a 2 pack a day smoker. In fact when I told them I am making an attempt and am determined to quit, they mocked me and chuckled. There has been no support or comments of encouragement, in fact there has been some triggering commentary.
    Any ideas how to beat this?
    Thanks
  2. dublinguy
    dublinguy avatar
    373 posts
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    09 Dec 2021
    02 Mar 2023 in reply to kellie62
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    Just do your best to not take it to heart and beat away to your own drum and keep moving forward.
    You know in your heart you are doing the best thing for yourself by quitting smoking so what others think really does not matter. Yes it would be lovely to have that support but some people just dont understand how hard it is.

    Last quit I doid my sister said 'big whoop... so happy for u' in a very sarcastic way. wont be saying anything to her about it this time. 
  3. kellie62
    kellie62 avatar
    12 posts
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    18 Aug 2020
    02 Mar 2023 in reply to dublinguy
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    Thanks for the encouragement. No they don't understand, but you're right, I realize this is about me and not them.
    Take Care.
  4. jimydrmz
    jimydrmz avatar
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    11 Nov 2022
    07 Mar 2023
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    They are simply stupid! I wouldn’t have anything to do with them…
  5. sarah, quit coach
    sarah, quit coach avatar
    226 posts
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    28 Nov 2017
    07 Mar 2023
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    Hello kellie62,

    Thank you for sharing this post. It can be upsetting & frustrating to have someone in your life who you feel is not supportive of your quit.

    Support is a key component to any quit plan. Do you feel this person is open to hearing about what support means to you? And if so, what would you say? 

    Sometimes people are not supportive because they are not meeting their own goals with their quits. Sometimes its because they themselves have absolutely no inkling to ever go smoke-free. Sometimes they do not know what you support needs are, but are doing what they think you need. And sometimes, theres someone better suited out there for you as you go through this journey ( family, friend, neighbor, coworker or quit line!)

    You've also found this forum, chock full of supportive community members who are here for you and ready to cheer you on. 
    Hope that helps, and all the best with this situation,
    Take care
    Sarah
    Last modified on 07 Mar 2023 19:43 by sarah, quit coach
  6. ststephen
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    23 Feb 2023
    08 Mar 2023
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    Well said! I would also add that some are simply clueless about addiction period. My partner has MS and always tells me how alone she feels in her disease. When met with her lack of support (blaming the addict, making my addiction about my lack of concern/love for her) I try to tell her that just as I cannot get her illness, she does not get mine. 
  7. kellie62
    kellie62 avatar
    12 posts
    Registered:
    18 Aug 2020
    09 Mar 2023 in reply to ststephen
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    Thank you all for your kind words of support.   
    I have realized the person not supporting me does not want me to succeed at anything.   Some would see it as abusive and I tend to agree.   I have a support system here, with others and will lean on you all.
    One day at a time!
7 posts, 0 answered