I am not ready to quit

Is someone pushing you to quit?

There are probably people in your life who would like you to quit smoking. They may have talked to you about it nicely, made hurtful comments or even nagged you about it. There may also be people who haven’t actually come out and said anything, but you still feel they are passing judgment on you.

Do any of these comments sound familiar?

• You know that thing is going to kill you?
• I can’t believe he/she has the nerve to smoke here!
• You smell like an ashtray!
• Enjoying your cancer-sticks?
• It’s like kissing an ashtray.

The people in your life who want you to quit care about you. What they may not understand is that they can’t make you quit, and nagging and negative talk isn’t helping you. In fact, the pressure they put on you may prevent you from thinking it through and, perhaps, making your own decision to eventually quit.

It may be hard for you to talk to someone if you feel they’re judging you and don’t understand your perspective. If you try to explain how you feel, they may start acting differently.

The next time you get into a discussion with someone about smoking, try one of these suggestions:

• Don’t argue or get angry

  This doesn’t help anyone, and the stress and frustration will probably only make you want to smoke more. They really just want to help you but don’t know how.

• Tell them what you need

  Your friends and family may not know how to help. Tell them what you need from them, even if you just want them to be quiet and give you some space. Find a way to communicate and tell them how you feel about smoking.

• Talk about how you feel

  Next time you’re speaking with someone about your smoking, try using some of the following statements to tell them how you feel:

  • I understand how you feel about my smoking and I really do appreciate your concern for my health.
  • When you nag me about it, I feel like you’re judging me and that makes me feel like I can’t talk to you about how I feel.
  • The more you bug me about it, the more upset I get and the less likely I am to want to talk to you about it.
  • If you could ease off a little, I would be less defensive and we could talk about my smoking without arguing.
  • I know that smoking isn’t good for me and I can understand why it might upset you that I do it anyway. I need you to respect the fact that I’m addicted and quitting is a big decision.

• Talk about quitting

  Try either of these statements to let them know how you feel about quitting:

  • I’m not thinking about quitting right now, but when I decide to start planning for it, I’d like to be able to come to you for support. Would that be okay?
  • I am thinking about quitting, but not right now. When I do decide to quit, I would like to have your support. Could I come to you for support when I’m ready?