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Rest of my post...

21 posts, 1 answered
  1. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    24 Oct
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    Kit here- My Quit date is this Monday October 28th. Nervous and scared.Smoked 40 years- survived Breast Cancer twice. Im so ready to QUIT- afraid I will fail- yet again. Thanks All !
  2. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
    148 posts
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    29 Nov 2017
    24 Oct
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    Hi Kit! Welcome! I'm glad that you finished your post and didn't keep us in suspense about your quit date ... :-)

    Thanks for your honesty about fear of failure. Most people here can relate! From a different perspective -- if you look at quitting as a learning process, setbacks can be opportunities for growth. So, if you quit on your quit date, fantastic, keep going; if you don't quit, learn from the experience (what worked and what didn't work) and try again!  

    We're all here for you. It sounds like you're more than ready to make the change, and you have so much to look forward to!
  3. justfortoday
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    94 posts
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    12 Aug 2019
    Answered
    24 Oct in reply to kit
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    Hi kit!

    I'm so glad you're here with us, and together we'll support you through your new journey.

    I smoked for 40+ years, so I can sincerely feel and relate to the fear you're feeling. My friends here can tell you how often they needed to throw me a net when I just wanted to give up.

    The reality, for me at least, is you have to be ready to fight for your quit. And it seems to me you have that fighter instinct ... you battled breast cancer twice.

    I'm close to eight weeks into my quit. I still have to work on it every day and that's okay because what I've gained far outweighs any cravings that may show up.

    Maybe you can use the next few days to come up with a plan that will help you through the early days of your quit. I have a list of things that soothe me (tea, a hot shower, my audiobooks, etc.), for hard days, and another list reminding me how amazing my life is without smoking!

    I'm totally cheering you on, kit. Please keep us posted.
  4. treepeo
    treepeo avatar
    825 posts
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    29 Nov 2017
    24 Oct
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    Hi kit,

    I can relate to you being scared to try quitting again.  I smoked all my life, too.  But I managed to quit almost three years ago, and am I ever glad I did.  I currently have breast cancer, and just when I went for my last chemo treatment, I found out that unfortunately, it has spread to my lungs.  So I am Stage 4.  If I still smoked, I would be in even more trouble than I am now.  I am facing an uphill battle, and I'm so relieved that I was able to quit smoking when I did to get that monkey off my back.  Having been through breast cancer twice, you know what I'm talking about.  I know that I can no longer be cured, but I want to live a great life for as long as I can.  That would not be possible if I still smoked.

    You might want to try following the quit plan on this site.  Personally, I found it extremely helpful.  It will give you a lot to think about, and you will learn various ways to deal with issues that arise when you quit smoking.  Consider whether you want to use NRTs.  They have helped many people to quit, and there is no shame in using them.  That is what they are there for.

    The thing is, you have to really want to quit.  The addict in you will want to keep going, so you will constantly have to remind yourself why you want to quit.  This addiction is hard to beat, but you CAN beat it.  You just have to be more stubborn than your addiction.

    Remember, we are all in the same boat.  We are all in various stages of a quit, and we are all here for each other.  Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.  We are rooting for you.

  5. optimist
    optimist avatar
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    11 Jul 2019
    25 Oct
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    Treepeo:  If there was anything I could do for you, I would do it.  My good thoughts are with you.

    Kit:  Cancer is what cigarettes do.  I've had bladder cancer, probably smoking related.  I smoked for decades, like you and Treepeo and others.  It's worth the effort and fight to quit.

    And I refuse to give any more of my money to cigarette companies, who are no more than drug dealers.
  6. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    25 Oct
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    Hi Everyone. Thank you for all your support and very helpful advice and suggestions. It is amazing to have this forum. Yes- having breast cancer is extremely difficult. Smoking only makes me more anxious about having another diagnosis - and truly can not go through it again. It feels like insanity to continue smoking ! I just want to quit so very much! Quit date is Monday and have picked up some extra shifts at work next week- to keep me busy. 
    Will keep you posted- THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH !
  7. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    27 Oct
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    Tomorrow is my Quit Day. In many ways I can hardly wait for tomorrow but in other ways I am terrified I will fail yet again.  When I am at work I NEVER think of smoking. I have taken on extra work this week that will keep me very busy and at work longer. The hard part ( I think) will be the chain smoking in my car to and from work - as well as the first cigarette and coffee in the morning. One day at a time I guess.I quit once for two years and recall that after six weeks I really
    felt ok and the cravings were almost gone. I feel I need to focus on that. As well as the amazing and yet simple advice someone said. Cigaretts Cause Cancer- I have survived Breast Cancer twice. I do not want to go through it again. Ido not want to see the grief and fear in my childrens faces again. I do not want to feel the grief and fear again. For me- staying busy at work is good.
    The drive to and from work I know will be difficult. Will keep you posted.Thank you everyone for being here.
  8. emily, quit coach
    emily, quit coach avatar
    155 posts
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    28 Nov 2017
    27 Oct
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    Hi Kit,

    You're going into this quit knowing what your challenges are and you have plans to help you get through those. 

    Like you said, just take it one day at a time. 

    We will all be here for you as you work through your quit. 

    Wishing you all the best on your first smoke free day tomorrow. 
    Emily
  9. treepeo
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    825 posts
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    27 Oct
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    Hi kit,

    Although I don't drive (I take public transportation to work), I used to have about 3 cigarettes before I even left for work in the morning.  Starting the first day of my quit, I just kept telling myself, "I am choosing not to smoke."  That became my mantra, because it really is a choice.  Not putting a pack of smokes in my purse before I left home was so daunting.   I just stood there staring at my purse for 10 minutes or so, asking, "Should I or shouldn't I?"  Ultimately, I decided that no, I would not put cigarettes in my purse, I was serious about quitting and I had to give it up.  Easier said than done, but doable nevertheless.

    You will quickly discover that you have more time in the mornings when you don't waste any of it smoking.  You can probably sleep in for a little bit longer.  In fact, maybe try to change your morning routine a bit.  Give yourself less time to dawdle.  Get dressed, drink your coffee, brush your teeth and make your way out the door.  You will still get bad breath because the poisons will still be coming out, but each time you brush your teeth, your mouth will get fresher and fresher, until all the poison is gone and your breath will smell normal again.

    You have quit once before, and you can do it again.  Believe in yourself, kit.  You have what it takes to get the job done.  You are stronger than your addiction.
  10. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    06 Nov in reply to treepeo
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    Hi treepeo. I was reading your post and you mentioned you stared at your purse one morning for 10 minutes. This morning I stared at my purse for 10 minutes as well. I did not have any cigarettes to put in my purse but it looked so empty without lighters- breath mints - package of cigarettes. I contemplated driving to the gas station (only thing open at 6am.) but just kept counting to 10 over and over again. Eventually the craving went away. I am using the patch- I think it helps but not sure if its the patch or my mental out look. As well I have cinnamon sticks that I use when driving- they help with the hand to mouth thing. Anyways- day number 2 without smoking! I watched a video at work today and found the message REALLY HELPFUL- " what we practice grows stronger" my hope is each day I will feel stronger about quitting! I am exhausted but hoping eventually I will have more energy. Have a great night and THANK YOU- Kit
  11. justfortoday
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    94 posts
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    12 Aug 2019
    06 Nov in reply to kit
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    Hi there kit!

    Glad to see you here, and I'm so happy you are working your quit! 2 days done!

    I loved the message you came across today; "What we practice grows stronger". Thank you for sharing that inspiration.

    A quote that really resonates with me, and helps to shift my thinking is this;

    Our wishes manifest as words (i.e.,I wish I would win a lottery, or I wish I could stop craving a cigarette). Our beliefs manifest as behaviour (I believe I can quit and I can stand up to this craving).

    Make sense??

    You are doing so well, kit, and just keep going!

    By the way, the cinnamon sticks? Brilliant idea!
    Last modified on 06 Nov 2019 21:49 by justfortoday
  12. kit
    kit avatar
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    18 Apr 2019
    07 Nov in reply to justfortoday
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    Hi- justfortoday-
    Our wishes manifest as words-our beliefs manifest as behaviour- yup- makes perfect sense and a huge shift in my thinking. WOW- HUGE. Its 4 30 am- not able to sleep. The gas station only place open to purchase cigarettes at this hour but really don't want to drive over there. Saw cinnamon stick idea on a video as well.I keep them in package with a lighter. It only helps when driving but it helps. I remember my last quit- day 3 was really hard! Could just stay inside and watch tv all day but work helps. It gets so busy there are times I don't even have a lunch break.
    Sort of get into a state of " flow" which at this stage is good!  Wow- day 3-nervous... Check after work. Hope all is well. Again justfortoday- thanks for being here !- Have a good day! - Kit
  13. justfortoday
    justfortoday avatar
    94 posts
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    12 Aug 2019
    07 Nov in reply to kit
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    Hey kit!

    I'm sorry you didn't get much sleep, but I'm sooo proud of you!

    I hope you "hear" yourself. In your post, you said you didn't want to drive over to the gas station to get cigarettes! Those are the words of a person on top of their quit. Just by NOT going, you took some of the power away from your addiction! And you did this on day three! I thought I was going to turn inside out on day three! You're a bit of a quitting ninja 😁.

    Try to get some sleep if you can, and remember to be good to yourself.

    You're doing brilliantly!
  14. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    08 Nov in reply to justfortoday
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    Hi justfortoday
    Thats funny- A quitting Ninja !  I did feel like I was going to turn inside out- but I just kept thinking - If I smoke I dont  think I have it in me to emotionally " gear up" for another quit. Thanks for your support. I was driving home and just started crying and crying. Work was not good - I mean nothing happened- I was just so irritable ! Today is Friday- Tonight will be hard. I do not drink but the end of a long week I would usually smoke probably half a pack and have a good strong coffee. Then watch some movies. So probably have the coffee - and movie and not the cigarettes- but my cinnamon sticks. Hope you had a good day yesterday and today. Check in later. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE !  Kit
  15. ocean
    ocean avatar
    268 posts
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    29 Nov 2017
    08 Nov in reply to kit
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    Hi Kit, it's a big deal that you didn't go to buy cigarettes last night!  Remember this as your momentum builds!  You're a trooper and a great motivator to get me off my butt!  I just switched to my winter coat and noticed the stale smell of cigarettes as I got out of my car.  It's humiliating and I don't want to be humiliated anymore.
  16. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    5 days and 17 hours ago
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    Hi Ocean,
    Wow- you could not of said it any better. Humiliated and ashamed is how I feel/felt when I smoke/smoked. I would be driving or walking while smoking and  try to hide it if i walked or even drove past people-complete strangers .I would go to work smelling like smoke. I would be in a line up at grocery store - or the movies and always felt like people were slightly moving away from me( maybe they were or maybe they were not) But I always felt " less than" others when I smoked. One day I remember sitting in the shed in our backyard. It was a lovely day this past summer. I was smoking in the shed because I didnt want the 2nd. hand smoke travelling over to the neighbours small kids- or the other neighbours who are elderly -  or any neighbour. I thought THIS IS INSANE ! I am protecting my neighbours from the smoke but here i was sucking in all the smoke and  basically being ok with  harming myself- but not others. IT FELT INSANE. Like a really low self esteem issue. I so "get" what you are saying !!
  17. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    5 days and 17 hours ago in reply to justfortoday
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    Hi   justfortoday,
    Came home from work and collapsed last night- but have another day under my belt. I was at work yesterday- Friday big smoking night ! My thinking was- oh its Friday.  I will just buy a pack smoke a couple then throw them away. My addicts brain on fire. I met a work mate on the way out of building. We chatted about our weekend (what we were doing) She said her weekend would be spent looking after her sister who just had 5 teeth pulled. I said " wow - thats a lot- all at once" she then replied " yes- her teeth were ruined from smoking" Needless to say - I lost all interest in buying cigarettes! I smoked cinnamon sticks all the way home- lay down and was out like a light!!! Today is day 5. One day at a time ! Hope you had a good week!   KIT
  18. justfortoday
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    94 posts
    Registered:
    12 Aug 2019
    5 days and 14 hours ago in reply to kit
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    Good morning kit!

    Sorry I didn't check in yesterday...my two baby granddaughters spent the night ... yup, they're crazy little ladies!!

    YOU, my quit friend, are doing such an amazing job and what I'm really impressed with is not only your ability navigate through your cravings, but also your amazing insight into who you "were" as a smoker.

    Hiding your smoking from strangers ... sitting in a freaking shed to protect your neighbours... this is a major part of quitting. A memory I hang onto is last winter. I was trying desperately to light a cigarette while holding my umbrella during a sleet/snow storm. Some dude walked by, shook his head and said, "really lady?" My shame consumed me. Did I really believe this was the best version of who I could be?

    Since I quit, over two months, I've started to do things I never had the courage to do and I know that quitting smoking helped me find that courage. My life on this side is richer, fuller and clearer than I thought possible.

    I really believe you can do this, kit. I read it in your posts and you have the strength to do this.

    I will check in later ... I think my two year old granddaughter just took off with a Sharpie!

  19. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    2 days and 15 hours ago in reply to justfortoday
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    Hi justfortoday
    Day # 8.In many ways it feels easier not to smoke and in many ways harder! Week one is over. Funny had a thought this morning(crazy thought) well I made it through week one so I guess I can start smoking again. WOW- the brain of my smoker. I didnt work yesterday- that can make things harder. Work is super busy right now-so I seem to forget about smoking until the drive to and from work. That is not so bad. Regardless as treepeo said  " just keep trucking" and its so true for me anyways. Off to work with my cinnamon sticks coffee and the 4Ds running in my head!
    HAVE A GREAT DAY- KIT
  20. atp
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    383 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    2 days and 11 hours ago in reply to kit
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    kit,

    Day 8!!!! 

    Just catching up on your posts and I have to say I am totally in awe at how well you are doing. 

    Drive to and from work was a hard one for me early in my quit too. That damn addict in my head was very vocal on those drives.  The solution - I cleaned my van. Vacuumed, Mr. Clean all surfaces, water and vinegar to the glass, the works. No way I was going to smoke in there after all that work. And a new car air freshener to cap it off. 

    I was out shovelling snow this morning and I didn't need to stop part way to catch my breath. I felt good doing the shovelling, actually appreciated it as exercise. What a difference from a year ago when I was wheezing and coughing my way through. So, with one week under your belt do you feel any better yet? Sense of smell or taste improving, maybe a little more energy? 

  21. kit
    kit avatar
    32 posts
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    18 Apr 2019
    2 days and 1 hour ago in reply to atp
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    Hi atp,
    Thinking a little more energy and FAR LESS SHAME- if that makes  sense. If I was shovelling the snow - a week ago- I would be coughing and wheezing then go for a smoke break ! Honestly the not smelling of smoke 24/7 is a real monkey off my back!  Not constantly looking for lighters- air freshener - getting rid of old butts ( all of the stuff related to smoking) was exhausting in it self. The crazy thing is I have to use my voice at work for almost 8 hours straight and have never lost my voice. I now have no voice at all. Wondering if the quitting smoking is linked to that. I would think it would be better ? Kinda worried! Hey- thanks for catching up on posts- THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT !
21 posts, 1 answered