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Mourning the Loss of a Friend

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. nadia b, quit coach
    nadia b, quit coach avatar
    47 posts
    18 Jan 2019
    24 Apr
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    It is time to say goodbye to that friend. That friend that has always been there for you through the good times, sharing a drink with you, being at BBQs, and relaxing on the beach. But this friend has also been there for you when life got tough. When things were very stressful at work, when you got the bad news about your spouse, when you got into an argument with your roommate.

    Some people have had this friend for 40 years or 50 years, where some may have had this friend for 5 or 10 years.

    Some ask – how will I survive without them?

    It is ok to take the time to mentally prepare yourself for this change and mourn the loss of this companion you have always had on hand (no pun intended)

    Although this friend has been there through good and bad, you know this friend is not a good influence. This friend has negatively affected your health and possibly others’ in your life. This friend may have even taken the lives of your grandparent, aunt, uncle, spouse or parent.
    Remember what your priorities are. Your friend never seemed to have your best interest and health in mind.

    Saying goodbye will be tough. The first three days, the first week, even the first month might be a struggle, but the rewards are remarkable. You will be able to go on longer walks/hikes with other friends, spend the money you’ve saved from buying cigarettes to purchase a new outfit for that birthday BBQ happening in a few weeks, or be around longer to see your children have children.

    The Quit Coaches are always here to help and support you through the process. We will listen as you read your last cigarette’s eulogy, help you throw that last package away, or set small goals to help you start the process.

    nadia b.

    Last modified on 24 Apr 2019 16:32 by nadia b, quit coach
  2. turningpoint
    turningpoint avatar
    97 posts
    30 Nov 2017
    25 Apr
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    Thank you for your post, nadia b.  How true.  I do have much better friends than cigarettes and thank God for that!  I am in the process of forsaking smoking forever and exchanging my cigarette "friends" for those people who do truly have my best interests and health in their minds and hearts!
  3. atp
    atp avatar
    394 posts
    31 Dec 2018
    28 Apr in reply to nadia b, quit coach
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    That is so true. When I first quit it was hard. I missed smoking. Not so much the cigarettes, but the ritual of smoking. It was tied to everything I did all day every day. I got through the first week and started to realize that I didn't know how to be a non-smoker. I had a hard time grasping how one can go for a walk and not smoke, or how to just sit in traffic and not have a smoke. 

    Close to 4 months now since my last cigarette and shockingly I am happy being a non-smoker now. It does take some time to get there though. It is almost like grieving a friend, at least in the beginning, then you start to see how much smoking was robbing from you and it changes. 

    Turningpoint - So glad to see you are back at it!
  4. brieffree
    brieffree avatar
    1331 posts
    28 Nov 2017
    28 Apr
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    Hello Nadia

    Do remember to post long time ago in the old site, that I was thinking that smokes were my best friend. 

    HO! I WAS TOTALLY WRONG! It was with me there to slowly makes me sick! and ……..

    So Happy to say So long, I do not want you anymore!

    So happy to be free!

  5. jenna c, quit coach
    jenna c, quit coach avatar
    58 posts
    29 Nov 2018
    29 Apr
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    It is quit normal to miss smoking and the rituals that go with it.  Although you may or may not continue to grieve the loss of your 'friend', you can start to enjoy those walks or drives in the car.
    Instead you can appreciate just listening to the music, the fresh air (Spring is here!) along with the real taste of the BBQ (vs when you were smoking).

    Enjoy the "new you" and the health that comes with it!


    -jenna c

5 posts, 0 answered