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1. forjj

   

   2 posts
   Registered:
   28 Oct 2018
   23 Oct 2019

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   I’ve been smoking a pack a day for almost 25 years.  I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.  And what’s worse is I don’t believe I can ever stop.  Everyone associates me with smoking.  It seems like it defines me.  Is there any point in quitting now?  I can’t stop crying.  I feel like I’m losing something and gaining nothing.. I am over smoking.  But yet there it is every day back in my hand and back to my mouth.  
2. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   23 Oct 2019 in reply to forjj

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   Hey forjj,
   
   I totally understand where you're coming from. I smoked for over 40 years, and although I wanted to quit, I too thought "what's the point". I had no idea who I was without smoking and the shame I felt was horrible. I was also terrified that smoking would kill me and would quickly turn off the tv if any commercial came on talking about the risks if smoking.
   
   I thought myself weak ... I just didn't have what it took to be a nonsmoker.
   
   You aren't alone and the fact that you reached out here is a good indicator you are ready to try this. I think everything you're feeling is valid and like many of us here, it's the jump off point.
   
   My quit is relatively new (somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks), and it was super hard. But I cannot believe how amazing I feel, physically and mentally. I get to decide what my life is going to look like now, and cigarettes don't decide for me. I'm empowered now to tackle other things I didn't have the courage to try before because I never knew the strength I had!
   
   Quitting is hard. The fear of quitting is real. AND it can be done. Reach out when you need to and I promise to stand by you as you make this journey.
3. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   23 Oct 2019

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   forjj,
   
   I hear you. It does feel like you are going to lose some special friend that has been there through thick and thin with you. That you can't survive without smoking. That there is the addict in your head doing all the talking. 
   
   You're here, so clearly you are wanting to quit. Now you just need to educate yourself about the process of quitting. 
   
   Do the Quit Plan (click on My Quit Plan at the top of the webpage)which will really help you get started. 
   
   Quitting is hard work, but it is well worth it and you'll amaze yourself by what you can accomplish  if you give it a try. 
   
   I watched justfortoday come here struggling and full of doubt in the beginning of a new quit, and now two months later seems like a different person - someone with hope and a new zest for life. Success in quitting is possible. 
   
   
   

   Last modified on 23 Oct 2019 10:14 by atp
4. wimporswim

   

   69 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   23 Oct 2019 in reply to forjj

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   Hi forjj,
   The feelings you have about smoking:  being defined: being ashamed: I will never be able to quit: being embarrassed: I can't give up my friend:  maybe a bit of self loathing: are feelings that thousands (maybe millions) of us smokers shared, and it's small consolation, but you are normal to the max!
   
   Here's the thing.....It's never too late to quit!  I was a long time smoker and finally quit 1,000+ days ago at age 62. 
   
   On day one I of my quit I gave myself a very slim chance of succeeding but by day 7 I was totally pumped and determined to beat the habit.  That first week was rough to say the least.  After the first month I gave myself a 99% chance (and a 100% promise) that this quit would be the one to stick.
   
   Justfortoday and atp have mentioned some great tools for you to try and you could not ask for any better quit buddies for support.
   
   One craving, one hour, one day at a time will get you there once you are determined to make a change.  Freedom is possible - I promise.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. forjj

   

   2 posts
   Registered:
   28 Oct 2018
   23 Oct 2019

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   You are all so nice / I can’t believe anyone responded.  I don’t know what I should do next.  I’m going to read and reread your responses because they make me feel hopeful.  Thank you so much truly truly 
6. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   23 Oct 2019 in reply to forjj

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   Hey forjj!
   
   The strength we receive from others is often the boost we need to find our own.
   
   atp always has great advice and helped me considerably. His suggestion about reading and learning about the quitting process is spot on ... the more we understand what's happening the better equipped we are to tackle it.
   
   And wimporswim is inspiration at it's best! 1000+ days!! It makes me proud to be in such company.
   
   Keep us posted of your plans.
7. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   23 Oct 2019

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   Hi forjj,
   
   It is never too late.  I smoked for over 43 years and I managed to quit with the help of Smokers' Helpline.
   
   I agree with atp  Go into My Quit Plan, read everything they say and do the exercises.  I wanted to quit but had no idea how to go about it.  This site taught me what I needed to know to get the job done.  Treat quitting like a job.  You have to be committed and responsible, and you have to persevere.  It is difficult to quit, but you CAN change your life for the better.  And that is something to get excited about.
   
   Please stay in touch, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.  Remember, you are not alone.  We are all in this together, and we are rooting for you.