18 Jan 2019
18 Jan 2019
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So I quit nine days ago, I've attempted this 10 or 15 times previous and failed everytime. I've been smoking for 25 years. I smoked a pack a day, but in the last two years I started smoking less, about 10 to 14 a day. I've tried quitting using Nicorette gum, but I'd end up chewing it wrong and didnt like the aftertaste or tingly feeling it left in my mouth afterwards. I also tried using the patch and had a horrible experience using that. I would get burn marks on my skin that would be itchy for days after removing the patch. I would also have crazy vivid nightmares. I asked my doctor about prescribing me meds, but he refused to prescribe me anything, stating that if I was serious about quitting, the best way would be to just stop. I have a few friends that were prescribed pills and they complained about psychological issues they experienced and how it was messing with their minds. Of all the people I know who succeeded in quitting, they all quit the same way - cold turkey. My doctor once told me, "changing how you get nicotine, ie. patch or gum, is not going to help you overcome your nicotine addiction. The only way to quit is to stop".
So here I am, nine days in and this absolutely sucks. I didn't start eating more right away, as a matter of fact, I hardly ate anything for the first week. I had no appetite whatsoever. Food tasted weird and I was not enjoying anything that I normally enjoyed eating. I'm also kind've depressed. I know smoking is bad for you, but I always liked smoking. I'll be honest, I miss it. I guess I'm starting to get a bit discouraged and this is why I have signed up for this smoking help. Does it get better? or is it going to always be something that I think about. I don't know if I'm really feeling any better, my back is feeling sore abound my ribs and the muscles in my forearms feel like they are tightening up. I'm not sleeping well either, few hours here and there. I do however notice that my body temperature is higher, I'm guessing my body is having an easier time regulating my internal temperature a little better then it was when I was smoking. The cravings don't seem to be constant, but when they do hit, they hit hard. Maybe they only last for a few minutes, but they feel like hours at times. I've also noticed a change in my mood. There are times when I can easily get fired up, even having thoughts of hurting someone badly that crosses me and then having the complete opposite effect of becomming very emotional when I read or watch the news. I feel messed up, like I'm having some kind or hormonal or chemical imbalance. I keep telling myself it's the poison leaving my body that's making me feel this way. I sure hope it gets easier or goes away, maybe it never does.