27 Sep 2018
Link to this post
Hi Everyone, 1 year t, way to go me! And way to go all of you that are quitting, have quit, or are going to try to quit. We all deserve huge high fives for beating down this damn addiction. I had originally thought I would post tomorrow, as a celebration. But I've changed my mind. I am going to take the time to mourn my past life as a smoker and mourn my last cigarette. It's going to be really hard to list what I miss, so I'll start with what I don't miss.
1. I don't miss killing myself each and every day.
2. I don't miss worrying about what type of horrible illness I am creating by smoking.
3. I don't miss the two puffers I had to use, in order to smoke.
4. I don't miss running outside, no matter the weather, to relieve my anxiety to have a cigarette.
5. I don't miss spending all that money on something that didn't make any sense and that I actually did not have a need for.
6. I don't miss that God-awful reek (my boss confirmed it again today, I stunk! Always!) that I carried on my body each and every single day.
7. I don't miss the constant coughing.
8. I don't miss feeling apologetic when smoking around my (mostly) non-smoking friends.
9. I don't miss planning/curtailing and sometimes even cancelling plans because of "having" to smoke.
Now, the feelings I do miss. I do miss the feeling of having that "me" time. The getting away and just thinking about nothing. I still can't manage to do that. And even though there's been a lot said that cigarettes will make you more anxious, I still can't fully embrace that. When I smoked, I felt like I was more relaxed and had less anxiety. These last two I know I have to work on, however, I know I will never ever smoke again. I know that if I wanted to quit once, there will come a time where I will want to quit again, and I am not going through the hellish first few weeks ever again! So, 366 days ago, one year, I had my last cigarette. This will be the first and only time that I will ever mourn or miss the fact that I smoked.
Cheers and all the best to everyone in their quits.