nomore
2 posts
Registered:
17 Feb 2018
14 Mar 2018
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Hi. I am 29 days smoke free today after 30 years smoking on February 15th.. My quit day was 3 days before my 44th bday. Took me a couple days to register on here because I didn't think it would be helpful, but I chose to after reading all the helpful resources. My method of quitting was I went cold turkey. I see alot of posts of people saying they feel the same way I do at this point, however, it is very frustrating. The longest I have ever went without smoking was 67 days and when I started smoking again, it increased.
I am tired, irritable, achy, walking around in a fog, gained weight. My first week of my quit, I felt way better than this. From week 2 on, this is how I feel. I habe no desire to go back to smoking(which is great, however, I can not stand this feeling anymore.) I walked everywhere before I quit and now I have to psyche myself up to walk because I feel like crap amd that makes me depressed because I could walk any where(and I did) and it didn't bother me. I'd walk an hour across town and back. I get texts from the helpline which I look forward to, but nothing matches how I am feeling. I don't have more energy I have less. My chest doesn't feel lighter it feels heavier and tighter. I am not usually a complainer for things and I find myself doing it constantly. I try looking for the benefits of quitting smoking, but I don't feel any of them yet. "Give it 3 months" everything says, but holy!
I apologize LOL. As you can see today is one of my miserable times. This is my first time posting on a forum of any kind, but I had to because at times it feels like I am going to lose my mind because I feel more negatives with this than positives.
Thanks for letting me vent. I figured it is better venting here than outloud to the poor smokers and non smokers who don't deserve it.
Since October 2016 I have lost my dads gf at 49 then my dad got sick right away and I lost him 4 days after his 59th bday (8 months after his gf)and then a good friend of mine had a heart attack 1.5 months later after my dad passed and then passed away 1 month later 2 days before heart surgery and was trying to help my 14 year old son deal with it all while entering his first year of high school. And dealing with all of that seemed somehow easier than how I feel right now 29 days in. How can that be? But then I was thinking about it, I had my cigarettes there to comfort me during those heart wrenching things.. I don't have that now because I said goodbye to them and I try different things, but still feel like garbage.
Ok. Rant over. 💚
Last modified on 14 Mar 2018 09:53 by nomore