Welcome to the Community Forums

Staying Quit in Social Situations Cancel

1. steven, quit coach

   

   40 posts
   Registered:
   12 Sep 2018
   15 May 2019

   Link to this post

   Hello everyone! With the Victoria Day long weekend fast approaching, and many of us getting together with friends and family, I thought this would be a good question/s to ask and discuss.
   
   How do you deal with triggers/urges to smoke potentially brought on by other smokers who are family or friends? How do you, or will you, prepare for social situations where you know there will be smokers present and you do not want to slip?
   
   Would love to hear your feedback on this topic!
   
   Sincerely,
   
   Steven (Quit Coach)
   

   Last modified on 15 May 2019 10:11 by steven, quit coach
2. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   15 May 2019 in reply to steven, quit coach

   Link to this post

   I faced the triggers of others smoking pretty early on in my quit. I took the view that my quit was worth more than one smoke, and if i had one I'd likely be back to a pack a day before long. It really is all about attitude.
   
   My buddy was over the other weekend and he enjoyed a Cuban cigar on my deck (wife brought him some back from Cuba). In the past I would have joined him. He reasoned why not, you don't inhale. I just don't want to risk it. We make a choice to quit and it is hard, the rewards are there though. I don't want to go back to being a smoker. 
   
   The smell of fresh smoke doesn't bother me anymore, stale smoke is a bit gross nowadays.
   
   4-1/2 months quit and I feel like a non-smoker.
   
3. turningpoint

   

   97 posts
   Registered:
   30 Nov 2017
   28 May 2019

   Link to this post

   The only smoker I see socially is my neighbour who used to always offer me a cigarette and usually a glass of wine to go with it.  Frequently I caved, thinking that smoking 1 cigarette was no big deal.  Well, it is a big deal for an addict.  Then I told my neighbour that I wasn't smoking because not smoking made me feel so much better.  Since then, she has never offered me a cigarette and is starting to withhold the offer of wine.  And she no longer smokes in my presence.  I just had to make it clear to her that I was better without the smokes.
4. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   29 May 2019 in reply to turningpoint

   Link to this post

   turningpoint,
   
   It's that realization that we are addicts that seems to make the difference in keeping our quit. One smoke, and boom we are back to a pack a day just like that. Seems your neighbour may be trying to be considerate of you by not smoking around you, although it is enlightening how many 'smoking buddies' I've lost since quitting. 
   
   As the days pass and your smoke free days start to add up you will start to get used to being a non-smoker and think less about it. You're doing great so far!
   
5. efram, quit coach

   

   235 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   02 Jun 2019 in reply to turningpoint

   Link to this post

   Thank you both for sharing. It seems that an effective tactic is to not only politely decline an invitation to smoke, but to also back it up with your reason(s). It gets the point across effectively but it can also be a good way to bolster your resistance. Also, recognizing the reality of the situation: smoking is an addiction and, like you say, atp, "one smoke, and boom ..."

   Last modified on 02 Jun 2019 20:17 by efram, quit coach
6. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   02 Jun 2019

   Link to this post

   Hi atp,
   
   Good thing you passed on that cigar.  A friend of mine had been a non-smoker for 4 years.  One day at a party, some people lit up cigars and she decided to join them.  And that was it.  That one cigar caused her to start smoking again.
   
   For me, I know that I can never have one puff.  Even though at this point, a puff would make me cough and get lightheaded, I know that it would also start my addiction raging once again.  It freaks me out to know that despite the fact that I wouldn't enjoy a cigarette if I had one now, it would still cause me to become a smoker again.  Such is the power of this addiction.  That is why I live by NOPE, Not One Puff Ever.